The Stress Test Guide

[ASusilovic]

At 5pm London time/6pm Central European time, the Committee of European Banking Supervisors is scheduled to publish an aggregate summary of the results of the European bank tests. From then on, individual results will be published on an ad hoc basis by the banks or their national regulators.

At around 5.30pm the CEBS plans to publish all the individual results on its website.

FT Alphaville will be holding an extra-special stressed-out session of Markets Live from just before 5pm London time (12 noon NYC) onwards, which will see the fabulous and predictively-gifted Paul Murphy handle market and analyst reaction to results. He’ll be joined by whichever unfortunate London-based FT AV reporter chooses to stay past 5pm on a Friday to cover the results.

In the meantime though — here’s a handy Q&A courtesy of Goldman’s Nick Kojucharov.

http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2010/07/23/295781/the-stress-test-guide/

 

[THE-BEAKER]

i predict the following outcome:

global equity markets will rally.

the majority of the banks will pass.

global equity markets rally more.

some tiny / small ones will fail and merge, backed up with euro / ecb cash.

global equities markets will rally even higher as optimism reigns supreme.

eu and ecb leaders will spend the weekend back slapping and congratulating each other on their magnificent sicofantic scheme to prop up the markets with the stress test package.

global equities markets rally so hard the book dow 30000 is re released and re titled dow 50000.

when the markets in autumn go into freefall the european bank stress tests will be exposed as the biggest farce since the english football world cup campaign of 2010.

as everyone realises that they were had over completely they will all try to sell at the same time.

FLASH CRASH 2.

dow prints at zero and the markets shut down for 1 year.