Speech from Barack Obama:
Good evening Americans, tonight i am come to you with a heavy heart. My 4 years as president has been a complete disaster, and clearly I was in over my head. Having never held down a real job in my entire life, prior to becoming president, I dont know WTF i was thinking running for president of the worlds biggest economy, at a time when it was essential that we get the economy rolling.
For too many years my friends and family have told me that I am special, and every time when i failed in life and in school, I was always told that my ineptitude was someone elses fault. For 4 years I have been getting the same treatment from the liberal media, and so i honestly thought that i was a winner until i decided to reflect on my life a couple of weeks ago.
Upon deeper inspection, I have realised that my entire life was nothing but smoke and mirrors, and no friends, im not only talking about the countless hours i spent in the choom wagon.
Everything that has been taught to me has been a lie, and after watching my radical far left dream come to fruition in the first 2 years of my presidency, I have now realised that it has been a colossal failure.
In order to save my daughters, and my wife the pain and humiliation of having to bear my name, long after I saddle the United States, with 4 more years of failed policy, I hereby announce my resignation from the presidency.
Good night, and in the words of my loving reverend Jeremiah Wright, God <s>bless</S> Dammmmmmn America!!!
Ohhh, Almost forgot, Joe Biden is a clown, and he may be suffering from dementia.
