It is more like the car accident theory or the Khardashians....it is bad you cannot look away
Morbid curiosity.. Yeah that and all.
We should make a list of what's wrong with us all.

Sometimes it strikes me that I started here just after I quit smoking, the habit of focus on work/trade then switch attention is hard to break.
Like retired! Personally not there yet, close. My ol adage was I wanted to make enough money to live like my wife snd children.
Its still sinking in that my life is over (the driving burn to succeed) and I probably have 40 years to go... I got there through very focused nosebleed trading in a way. Risk controlled but really loading on the contracts when experience said to do so.
But..having a couple other people working for me made all the difference, even one employee who will commit to whatever it takes to help you not blow up is a gift.