The National Institute of Physical Sciences has just announced the discovery of the densest element now known to science.
"...Pelosium has one negatron, 12 assistant negatrons, 75 deputy negatrons, and 224 deputy assistant negatrons, giving it an atomic weight of minus 311. These negatrons are held together by dark subislamic particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of deputy subislamic particles called peons.
Pelosium’s negative mass increases over time as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy negatrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
Most of the Pelosium isodopes are free-radicals with a half-life of between the first and twenty third question they can't answer without emitting a hitch-pitched shriek. Upon exposure to air, logic or reason, isadopes of Pelosium instantly gain negatrons, causing their morons to melt down into harmless water molecules.
Isodopoes of Pelosium also attract each other and form Islamidoms, which produce Muslidium, resulting in ultra-dark antimatter clusters known as mosqueholes which suck in all light.
Pelosium's defining characteristic --- automatic moron-promotion --- leads scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Dummass.
When catalyzed with refractory sound and light waves, Pelosium activates MSNBCobnoxium and CNNadnausium --- elements that generate negative energy as incoherent noise, because they have half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium..."
"...Pelosium has one negatron, 12 assistant negatrons, 75 deputy negatrons, and 224 deputy assistant negatrons, giving it an atomic weight of minus 311. These negatrons are held together by dark subislamic particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of deputy subislamic particles called peons.
Pelosium’s negative mass increases over time as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy negatrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
Most of the Pelosium isodopes are free-radicals with a half-life of between the first and twenty third question they can't answer without emitting a hitch-pitched shriek. Upon exposure to air, logic or reason, isadopes of Pelosium instantly gain negatrons, causing their morons to melt down into harmless water molecules.
Isodopoes of Pelosium also attract each other and form Islamidoms, which produce Muslidium, resulting in ultra-dark antimatter clusters known as mosqueholes which suck in all light.
Pelosium's defining characteristic --- automatic moron-promotion --- leads scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Dummass.
When catalyzed with refractory sound and light waves, Pelosium activates MSNBCobnoxium and CNNadnausium --- elements that generate negative energy as incoherent noise, because they have half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium..."