Gone are the days when a guy could be a drunk and leave some broad to die in the river and still be an esteemed senator. No more abusing your power to influence a young woman to satisfy some weird cigar fetish. That shit is over, at least for republicans.
The left, surprising us all in this bold move, has decided that 17th century puritanism is the way to go. Some guy in his youth on a hot date with his girlfriend has the nerve to try and run his hand up her skirt, even if rebuffed and never gets to the stink finger, that man is now a sexual predator. Ever had a little too much to drink and that schoolboy party? Maybe things got a little frisky between the boys and girls? You fucking deviate. Now we may or may not see this new standard of morality apply to women. More than likely that will depend on political affiliation too. Hopefully some young republican girl never attended some slumber party and "fooled around" with some sex toys for laughs. No insertion mind you, just throwing that fake dick at each other. Sluts! Ever show them titties at mardi gras? Tramp. Went on spring break and did some nasty stuff? Whore. Now obviously no pure as the driven snow liberal girl ever participated in such lewd activities.
I suspect we'll have to do a complete and thorough background check on every elected official to see if they can pass this new purity test. There might be an exception or two, it will all depend on the whim of the mob, but rest assured people will straighten the fuck out or there will be hell to pay. That is, unless you support abortion on demand, in which case, BJ's and anal for all.
The left, surprising us all in this bold move, has decided that 17th century puritanism is the way to go. Some guy in his youth on a hot date with his girlfriend has the nerve to try and run his hand up her skirt, even if rebuffed and never gets to the stink finger, that man is now a sexual predator. Ever had a little too much to drink and that schoolboy party? Maybe things got a little frisky between the boys and girls? You fucking deviate. Now we may or may not see this new standard of morality apply to women. More than likely that will depend on political affiliation too. Hopefully some young republican girl never attended some slumber party and "fooled around" with some sex toys for laughs. No insertion mind you, just throwing that fake dick at each other. Sluts! Ever show them titties at mardi gras? Tramp. Went on spring break and did some nasty stuff? Whore. Now obviously no pure as the driven snow liberal girl ever participated in such lewd activities.
I suspect we'll have to do a complete and thorough background check on every elected official to see if they can pass this new purity test. There might be an exception or two, it will all depend on the whim of the mob, but rest assured people will straighten the fuck out or there will be hell to pay. That is, unless you support abortion on demand, in which case, BJ's and anal for all.