I didn't read your posts till well past midnight. Actually, I'm glad I did not respond them, cuz I was really ticked. And, I have had enough training, and healing, to know...
... when I have a strong emotional reaction to somebody or something, it is usually about me and my past/issues/what ever you want to call it/them, and not about the "source" of the reaction. (gold nugget)
That "source" can be anything... the markets, my neighbors, my wife and kids, posters to The Evolution.
My job, and I choose to accept it, is to find out _why_ what was posted, in this instance, caused the reaction.
It is not about the what, but about the why. (another nugget)
Lying in bed this morning, I was able to process the whole thing, and especially how it related to how I was reacting to the markets.
In a nutshell, I hate when people tell me what to do. Always did. I got this sort of independent streak in me from way back, and usually it comes out as passive aggressive, since I also do not like confrontation. LOL, ask my wife, good thing is she doesn't let me get away with it!!!! Now, I confront things head on, instead of copping an attitude and ignoring them.
I see I do the same thing with my trading. I have rules, and follow them most of the time, but sometimes they âtell my what to doâ when I want to do something else. My two trades yesterday were a perfect example. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and didnât see the (1) retracement of larger trend, not a change of trend, (2) strength of the rally, recovered in 20 minutes what took 35 to drop, (3) forgot about the resting stops above the high (4) rule about being wrong fast (5) rule about small losses (6) being patient.
In other words, I wanted to do what I wanted, (short the market soooooooo baaaaaad) and the market was not going to tell me otherwise. And I just ignored the pain of being wrong (with an attitude) till it was unbearable, and the loss was too big. I did that on the majority of my trades Wed. too. I chased a lot Wed, why, because I wanted to, dammit, and my rules are not going to tell me otherwise. LOL.
This month has been the cheapest therapy Iâve ever had!!!!! I figure I sit here almost 12 hours a day, times 20 days a month⦠240 hours a month. So in reality, Iâm paying about $2.50 an hour for the best therapy around, and Iâm learning to trade!!!!! And, up to the last two days, my month has been positive, so the market has been paying me. Is that too cool or what?
Nihaba - you asked some very pointed questions, the answers to some are buried in the early pages of this journal. My trading background is commodities, overall not really successful until recently. For 4 years, after blowing out my 3K account, read almost everything I could get my hands on. Websites, mags, books, etc. Found most was just talk, and not applicable. The few gems (books â Tharp, Magee, Murphy, Douglas, Toppel, Schwager; websites â Intelligent Speculator, Phantom, the old FutureSource forum, and ET) Iâve read and re-read. I know this site has a lot of misinformation, but it also has a lot of excellent posters too. You just have to know how to weed them out.
Switched to the e-mini for a lot of reasons. Tried to apply commodity strategies to mini, and it didnât work. Sat and watched every day for a month, revised some stuff, and started again live the beginning of this month.
This weekend, I need to rewrite by business plan, and make it pertinent to the mini trading. It is still pertaining to the commodity trading.
You ainât really learning till cash is on the line, then the emotions come out.
Unlimited capital, in my dreams, but I can replace my account two more times, if I need to.
Mentor, I was just talking to my wife about this. When the student is ready, the teacher will come. (old Chinese guy) I think Iâm ready, I hope Iâm ready, please let me be ready. <grin>
I know you were not being a jerk, or rude. Thank you for posting.
Tater â thanks for the compliments. Yes, this past week has been a whirlwind, and I thought the Grail was found, I know better now, this week was just another clue to the whereabouts. And preservation of capital is the first point I make in my business plan and is posted on my monitor.
*****Both of you, thank you for stirring it up*****
