MARTHA ATTEMPTS TO FLEE U.S. INSIDE GIANT CAKE
Escape Attempt Foiled as Dessert Is Heard Berating Employee
Just hours after being convicted of all charges related to the sale of her ImClone stock, domestic diva Martha Stewart attempted to flee the country baked inside an enormous pineapple upside-down cake.
The cake, measuring seven feet in diameter, was being shepherded through security at JFK International Airport by two employees of Martha Stewart Omnimedia when security personnel noticed something unusual.
âThe cake was talking, real bitchy-like,â one security employee said.
Within minutes, the security staff realized that it was not the cake itself that was talking but rather Ms. Stewart, baked inside the cake and angrily berating an employee on her cell phone.
âI told you to puree those phone logs and whisk them into the chestnut gravy, you moron!â Ms. Stewart could be heard shouting from inside the pineapple dessert. âIâm going down and itâs all your freaking fault!â
After security sliced open the cake and revealed Ms. Stewart inside, a representative for the homemaking mogul said the pineapple upside-down cake incident was entirely proper and had been âblown out of proportion.â
âMs. Stewart had pre-arranged several months ago to travel out of the country encased in a giant cake,â Ms. Stewartâs spokesman said.
Back at her multimedia company, executives were scrambling to re-format the April issue of Ms. Stewartâs flagship magazine, which will now be called âMartha Stewart Leaving.â
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