Teaching the Wife to Trade

Poor Southern farm boy comes to town desperate to get laid. He goes to the town's whorehouse. Turns out he can't afford what he wants. Go see Granny down the road, they suggest, she's cheap. He goes to Granny. She has a glass eye she removes for him to use the orifice underneath. Satisfied, the farm boy pays up and takes his leave. As he departs, Granny calls out "Come back any time, boy! I'll be keeping an eye out for you!"
 
Quote from deadbroke:

Bottomline:

If you were profitable or even at breakeven your wife would not react like that. If you were profitable and you showed her the trading game, she'd have just smiled and said, "that's great honey" - just as she would when you go do other shit with the guys. It would be tolerated.

Women know intimately about the money coming in to a family - their life depends on it. Even more so if you have children.
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My wife watches me trade the open every day. And at the close she sees the results. What she hates is the apparently random nature of those results.
 
Old man leans over to wife in church and whispers "I just cut a silent fart. What should I do?" Wife replies smugly, "Replace your hearing aid battery!"
 
Art was apparently bored....

Quote from Arthur Deco:

"You mean when you enter a trade you don't even know if you'll WIN? And you lose THREE out of every four trades? And you don't even know how long the system will LAST? And you lose HOW much per contract when you lose? And you trade HOW many contracts?
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There is no fucking way an uninterested newbie would ask such logical questions, specially about the system lasting how long....

But thanks for the story... :)

P.S.: Beside what deadbroke said....
 
Quote from NoDoji:

Well.


You need to use words like "buy" and "sell" , and "large size" (self-explanatory).




Isn't it clear to you that Mr. D can take the heat?




If this doesn't get db in here, then he's clearly on holiday.
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Now that he's fcked it up real good, watch foolish Arthur trying to bribe her by buying her a grand piano instead of being wise and giving her an upright organ.

:)
 
Quote from deadbroke:

Now that he's fcked it up real good, watch foolish Arthur trying to bribe her by buying her a grand piano instead of being wise and giving her an upright organ.

:)
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An upright organ! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D
 
Quote from Arthur Deco:

I got my first blowjob from my grandmother. I kind of miss her. She had no teeth.
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Uhhhh....Awkward (In a high pitch voice) :D
 
A 65 year old couple sat through a adult movie twice. They didn’t get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.

“You folks must’ve enjoyed the show,” the usher said. “Disgusting,” said the lady. “It was revolting,” her husband added.

“Then why did you sit through it twice?” the usher asks.

“We had to wait until you turned up the house lights,” the lady replied. “We couldn’t find my panties, and his teeth were in them!"
 
This thread is starting to remind me of this joke.

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
 
Quote from Pekelo:

Art was apparently bored....



There is no fucking way an uninterested newbie would ask such logical questions, specially about the system lasting how long....

But thanks for the story... :)

P.S.: Beside what deadbroke said....
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I failed to mention that the wife is no virgin. She has been position trading startup pharma and med equipment stocks for two decades.
 
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