Things just keep going down hill â in spite of my best efforts.
Yesterday was our anniversary, so I knocked myself out, trying to be nice to the wife. I figured a romantic dinner would be a good start, and knowing how much she likes seafood, I made all the arrangements.
For the first time in twenty-three years, the wife seemed happy â she bought a new dress, got her hair done up, even painted her toenails! On the drive to the restaurant, I did my best to make some small talk. âThe market looks poised for a big moveâ, I began. It was met with dead silence. âI hear that Woodie has a book in the works. Iâll bet it sells like hotcakesâ Again, silence.
It was just about then that we pulled into the Long John Silver parking lot, but instead of a squeal of delight, she shot me one of those âif looks could killâ kind of looks. Inside, I ordered fish and chips for both of us, and then presented her with what I thought was the perfect gift for the occasion â an Erlich Cycle Finder. Apparently she did not agree. She starts crying hysterically, then she jumped up on her chair, begins cursing, at the top of her lungs, and throwing the salt and pepper shakers at me.
Well the manager called the police, and I spent the next six hours down at the stationhouse trying to bail out my little Love Muffin. To make matters worse, she refused, saying sheâd rather spend the night in jail!.
To make matters even worse, the Erlich Cycle Finder got lost in all the commotion. Man, it was one really bad dayâ¦