Quote from bronks:
I was always told that there's no such thing as a stupid question... come to find out, it was always the stupid teachers who said that.
Here is something funny for you guys to read. Naomi Dunford maintains the blog ittybiz.com and she can be a very funny writter. One of her sections she often updates is "The moral of the story". Here is a particularly funny one.
I like red wine. A lot. Jamie drinks beer, Jack drinks Ribena, I drink red wine. I also live in Ontario which is convenient because we make a lot of wine here. Itâs handy. Nowadays, with the whole âthe environment is really important and stuffâ kick thatâs been going on, wine makers have been packaging their products in Tetrapaks. Tetrapaks, more commonly referred to as juice boxes. Big-ass, grown-up, boozy juice boxes. Yeah, baby. I have tasted their Tetrapak offerings and found them worthy.
Anyway, weâre in the liquor store about a week ago and Iâm trying to decide what to get. Jamie suggested we get a box of wine.
Let me press hold on this story and let you know that while I will happily drink wine from a Tetrapak, I draw the line at boxes. My mother used to buy white wine in a box and store it on top of the fridge. Warm. I drank it one time. Not cool.
So I look at him like heâs insane and he says itâs the same wine we always buy and itâs way cheaper than buying a bottle, plus we wonât have to go back to the store later. Well, Iâm nothing if not cheap and lazy so a box of wine it was.
Flash forward a few days.
Weâd drunk the wine. It was lovely. Completely without incident. Jamieâs on his way out and he asks if we need more wine. I donât know how much is left and because Iâm cheap Iâm going to check before dropping another forty bucks.
Have you ever tried to see how much wine is left in a box? The thing about boxes is that theyâre not clear. Theyâre pretty opaque, actually. Nobody but Superman can look at a box of wine and know how much is in it. Shaking the box doesnât work either because the wine is stored in a bag and you canât hear the swishing.
Let me tell you, I am nothing if not resourceful. Thereâs no damn way any more wine is entering this apartment until Iâm absolutely certain the wine thatâs already here is done. I notice that the hole in the top of the box that acts as a handle is about the size of my hand. I figure Iâll just stick my hand in to see how far down the wine went.
You know where this is going.
Jack is in the stroller. Jamie has his coat on. Iâm standing in the hallway with my hand wedged in a box of wine and I canât get it out.
The baby is screaming for milk which I cannot get him because I only have ONE FREAKING HAND. My husband has stopped breathing heâs laughing so hard. And I come to the cold realization that my hand is not coming out of that box.
Have you ever tried to cut your hand out of a box of wine before? They use really thick cardboard, the kind you canât cut through with regular scissors. You need something serious to cut a box. Like a box cutter. You know, those things the terrorists use to kill people on airplanes? And my hand is so far in the box that the place the blade would hit would be right around the veins in my wrist.
The actual story of getting the box off my hand isnât very funny so I wonât give you details. (If you ever find yourself in this situation, consider a bread knife. Thatâs all Iâm saying.) Just do me a favor and try to imagine what it feels like knowing you may actually have to take your 14-month-old to the emergency room with you while you have your hand removed from a box of wine. Imagine that for a sec.
âSo what the hell are you getting at?â you ask.
There are many morals to this story. Donât be cheap comes to mind. Donât be lazy, maybe. Donât be greedy works too. These are true and wise but theyâre not what youâre here for. Iâve chosen a different â and completely topically relevant â moral.
Moral of the Story: Marketing Begins In Product Development.
When you are building your product, think about the stupidest person youâve ever met. That person is your customer. Think about what problems they could have with your product.
When you are a wine producer, you want your customers to be well aware of how much wine they have on hand at all times. (Please pardon the pun.) You do not want them at home, trying to bust a move on their wife, setting up candles and massage oils and doing whatever people without kids do, just to find out theyâre out of wine.
(Since I know youâre wondering, yes, I did just throw the offending box into recycling. Yes, I realized you shouldnât recycle cardboard and plastic in the same box. And yes, when I separated them and realized there was still wine left in the bag, I drank it.)
