New teeth, you say? I'm tingling all over.Quote from Stosh:
...I'll bring my sister...soon as she gets her new teeth.
Stosh
Spelling and Trading
- Thread starter Arthur Deco
- Start date
No 'fense intended, but is yar mom still with us? Ya know, cain't take ta much excitement what witha high tenshin lines a messin' with ma pacemaker. An' ah ain't gittin' 'round sa good, hadda hock the oxygen 'quipment ta buy cigarettes. Oops! Ah'd best be keerful tawkin on line, terms a tha p'role, ya know. Thet li'l gurls mama had no sensa humer atall. An the dam dowg jist runt off wimma laig, dam near chewt it in haf las time, the little shit! Guess ah shunt tekkit off whens ah gits inna crick ta bave.
Naw, Ma got her hair caught in the hay baler......pulled her plumb through and packed her in the bale......what a mess. Anyway, Sis is filling in fer Ma real well...seems to keep Pa happy. But Sis will still have time for you....she's been taught how to treat a man. I told her you traded the markets......she thinks you work at the flea market. Stosh
But kin ya sis cook? Since ma maw fellt true tha ruff a tha barn whilst chasin the sqwirl whut had stole her glass eye, hain't bin nabady hyar kin seasin a arn pan wurth a dam. So's ah hain't had me na desunt messa fride greens in yars! They's allus krispy an burnt lak them damn chinks mekksum. Not at ennyboddy innis low rint spickville uvva a trayler parkud kno tha diffunce tween collard greens anna green card. Oneum li'l brown bastids done stole tha plassic bebby Jaysus offn tha daishbode udda broak down ole truck inna front yard! Ah's keepin at far wunna dem sin-yar-eatas, ya kno? They be tweve, but day looks ayteen? Hown hell mi spose kno, I tole a judge tha las tahm. Butta wurk onna roads wuz gud far me, kin man hannel tha sheeps bitter, iffn ya nose whut a feller menes. No mo sin-yar-eatas, tha judge sayed!
Kinda hard to read.....where did you learn to write? We have a good school here and we may have to send you to school with Sis. She is in 5th grade now.....had to miss a few years cause of her kids. Of course she can cook: fried squirrel, coon and dressing, collard greens, possum pie, sweet tates, polk salad.....and don't worry about cigarettes....we grow our own. Also, we make our own whiskey, food, clothes, etc.......we don't need no stinkin' money and don't care about no recission. If you will marry Sis , you will be part of the family and can give up all the stress of trading. Stosh
When ah's yung, me pap wurked inna car faktry. Ah winta skewl widda collard kids in Detrowit, an lernt my spellin fo-netty-kully. Ya say sis is inna fif grade? Mus be a legal age ba now, ah reckon. Dun deel! Butta gotta teecher ta mekk rodekilt chilly! Ummmmm, em sun kewrd 'dillers is gud! Dint meshun guns oh. Whut callyburrs y'all gots? Me, ah lacks 357 magnoom. Doan killem widda bulit, killem widda re-port! Gots me far pistoles and a raffle. Ya'll be lackin snake? Iffn dere bonz ain all broke fum bein runt over sevval time, dey's mitee fine! Uh, yew shore y'all gots enuf room inna bed far me? I doan lak sleepin more n six a bed, lessn corse hits cole out. An whut arder mi goan be tekkin a baf Sat'dy, soomin ya'll draws jist wun fo evvaboddy.
Yew jist rede out lowd, yew'll gittit.
Yew jist rede out lowd, yew'll gittit.
Have we got guns? Ha Ha Most of our guns are military surplus...some are black powder and some are belt fed. Takes some practice to clip a deer with an RPG and not ruin the meat.
Of course, nothing tastes better than fried rattlesnake. We just grab them by the tail, pop them like a bullwhip, and the head pops off. We will teach you how to do it. Some of them are the size of a python and will feed the whole family. Wear your boots when you're out at night.
Sister just returned from her job dancing at the local club, and she studied your posts and she said to tell you that she doesn't think that your colloquiial writing style implies ignorance, but rather it masks the persona of a true renaissance man whose musings belie sensitive and discriminating tastes....one who could appreciate her eclectic culinary repasts and her robust sexual idiosyncracies (e.g., your wooden leg).
Just tell us where you live and we will come pick you up in our helicopter. Hope you like our farm.....it is kind of messed up right now what with all the damn drilling and Halliburton trucks everywhere. Stosh
Frish rattler? Ats nuffin. We eats far aints, swallers um fore day kin bite! Tawk bout ticklin your stummick! Iffn your dick gits droopy, jist slip onnem unner yore four skin, you be gittin puffy rat faist!
An fresh grackle! Lordy, dey not onney souns like frine bakun, dey taysts it two!
But deys a itsy bitsy leetle prollem widda helo pickup. Akshally, ah lives an wurks onna farm. Wun widda high fince, barb war, and surchlites. Ah feels vury safe dere. So y'all goan hafta cum kindly late of the naht. Wash for my flaishlite, ahl blink free tahms.
Yore sis souns awful smort. I maht jist go ta skool widder, iffn theys let me skipun grade. But tell sis far me ah doan do cul-i-nary. Mah gretgram were cajun, so ah nose da meenin a dat frinch wurd. I nary will do it!
An fresh grackle! Lordy, dey not onney souns like frine bakun, dey taysts it two!
But deys a itsy bitsy leetle prollem widda helo pickup. Akshally, ah lives an wurks onna farm. Wun widda high fince, barb war, and surchlites. Ah feels vury safe dere. So y'all goan hafta cum kindly late of the naht. Wash for my flaishlite, ahl blink free tahms.
Yore sis souns awful smort. I maht jist go ta skool widder, iffn theys let me skipun grade. But tell sis far me ah doan do cul-i-nary. Mah gretgram were cajun, so ah nose da meenin a dat frinch wurd. I nary will do it!