Quote from Shawn B.:
I won't even comment on the idiotic comment above this post
Anyway, it turns out that after multiple chat sessions, I was able to speak with a nice CS employee who told me it's a problem with my version of Java (it apparently causes those strange bugs)
He sent me an email, I'll try reinstalling java and see if it works, then update you!
So the problem is [potentially] your failure to upgrade to the latest JRE? I take it you're not very computer savvy. FWIW, I've always received a response to my trouble tickets within 24h. In all of 8 years I've never had to call their trade desk.