off course a leftist big govt loving drone like you would miss the point.
I would not expect you to understand the importance of Natural Law.
nor would I expect you to see the difference between an affirmation that Rights come from a Creator vs. leaving out from where the rights are granted and letting leftists/progressives/commies/socialist/fascists argue, rights come from govt or monarchs or despots.
(note there are multiple version of rough drafts and yours does seem a bit thin.)
nat·u·ral law
noun
1.
a body of unchanging moral principles regarded as a basis for all human conduct.
here was an instructive comment from someone...
http://myesoteric.hubpages.com/hub/...al-that-they-are-endowed-by-their-Creator-120
ADDENDUM
THE EXCELLENT COMMENTS MADE BY CMERRIT prompted me to write a little bit more about this subject.
John Locke, 1632 - 1704, originating the philosophy of Liberalism, is behind much of the Declaration of Independence; some of the Declaration was lifted verbatim out of Locke's writings. The idea of the "natural right to Life, Liberty, and Happiness" comes directly for John Locke's statement that âThe state of nature has a law of nature to govern it, which obliges everyone: and reason which is that law, teaches all mankind who will but consult it, that being all equal and independent, no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty or possessionsâ¦â; Jefferson and others combined "health and possessions" into "Pursuit of Happiness" while keeping, "Life" and "Liberty" as is. (I didn't realize Locke included health in his natural rights, which leads us to a different discussion concerning the role of government in that area.)
In developing his ideas on the natural law, there is no doubt where the law came from ... God, not a Creator, but God, the Christian kind. He belonged to the Church of England (if you didn't in those days, you ran the risk of being hung alongside the Catholics) and was a believer. So, and here we get back to CMerritt's and my point, we come to the question of why was the word "Creator" used in the Declaration of Independence and later in the U.S. Constitution? What was the motive of the authors of the Declaration to make this change or, as CMerritt notes, not even include the reference at all in the initial drafts.
It is also interesting to know that Locke is also Jefferson's inspiration, and I suspect the U.S. Supreme Court's for the idea of "Separation of Church and State". Locke wrote in his letters, Letters Concerning Toleration (1689â92), produced in the aftermath of the European wars of religion, formulated a classic reasoning for religious tolerance.
Three arguments are central: (1) Earthly judges, the state in particular, and human beings generally, cannot dependably evaluate the truth-claims of competing religious standpoints; (2) Even if they could, enforcing a single "true religion" would not have the desired effect, because belief cannot be compelled by violence; (3) Coercing religious uniformity would lead to more social disorder than allowing diversity.[15]
Locke also believed that according to his principle of the social contract, he argued that the government lacked authority in the realm of individual conscience, as this was something rational people could not cede to the government for it or others to control and therefore must remain protected from any government authority.
In addition, John Locke was a proponent of separation of powers between the branches of government, although it did not originate with him; the Greeks thought of that a couple thousand years before.
Inalienable rights are incapable of being endowed, transferred or repudiated. That's the whole point of inalienability. What the word means.
The original draft was just fine...
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, .â¦"