Seeing People for Who They Really Are

[expiated]

WEEK SEVEN:

In terms of the nose and mouth, two things to watch for are...

1. Nostril flaring
2. Mouth-covering (hushing) behavior

Two of the potential emotions this might possibly be an indication of are...

• Apprehension
• Excitement

 

[expiated]

WEEK EIGHT:

Ignore all the stuff written about what it means if someone crosses his or her arms. The causes and reasons can be so varied that your assessment can easily be inaccurate, with the exception of two versions:

1. If the palms are in contact with the body ( a self-hug), it can indicate the need for reassurance or pacification due to insecurity.
2. If the hands are in a fist, it might indicate anger, restraint or serious disagreement.

Also, though you should generally ignore arm crossing, don't ignore the fingers. If the fingers are relaxed—no problem. However, if the fingers are curled and dig into the arm (digital flexion), it's a possible sign of discomfort, stress or disagreement.

And remember, you are watching for changes in movement, from NOT exhibiting the above action or actions to carrying it/them out so that you can note what brought it/them on—what was being said or happening at the time that it/they suddenly appeared?

 

[expiated]

WEEK NINE:

Chase says that the farther a body part is from the head, the harder it is to control during stress and elatedness, which again brings us back to the hands.

Digital Extension is a small movement of the fingers away from the palm, from a curled position (not a fist) to a less-curled (relaxed) position. This behavior supposedly reveals comfort, agreement, relaxation and focus. Consequently, it is a positive sign when you see it during informal conversations.

Digital Flexion has the reverse appearance of digital extension, which is to say, the fingers curl inward toward the palm (but it is NOT the act of making a fist). It is a gradual, and most times, subtle behavior that can involve minimal movement of the fingers. It can illustrate disagreement, doubt, anger, stress and even fear. So then—context is crucial. When you see it, its meaning is unknown until you are able to understand the topics, subject or events that likely brought about the response.

 

[expiated]

WEEK NINE:

Not surprisingly, the direction in which someone's feet are pointing is supposedly a good indicator of psychological intent (or if they are interested or disinterested in a conversation). In the line at the coffee shop, whose feet are pointed toward the cashier and whose feet are directed toward the exit? In a group, who is the person that most feet are pointing towards? Etc.

 

[expiated]

WEEK TEN:
Not surprisingly, the direction in which someone's feet are pointing is supposedly a good indicator of psychological intent (or if they are interested or disinterested in a conversation). In the line at the coffee shop, whose feet are pointed toward the cashier and whose feet are directed toward the exit? In a group, who is the person that most feet are pointing towards? Etc.

 

[expiated]

WEEK ELEVEN:

When you have opportunity, look up the details on what Chase says about exposing/covering one's belly being an indication of someone's level of fear; pinpointing an individual's dominant hand; and identifying whether someone is breathing into their chest or their abdomen.

 

[expiated]

Look up the details on what Chase says about exposing/covering one's belly being an indication of someone's level of fear

Hughes seems to think that exposing one’s abdomen is a sign of comfort because, now that we are bipedal, we no longer have this vulnerable part of our bodies (our soft bellies—which Mark Bowden calls the "truth plane") protected from predators by the hard ground below us in the way that we did when we used to walk around on all fours.

(Seriously?)

In any event, the bottom line is that he states when people position their arms behind their backs, it means that they do no feel threatened. (He says authority figures do this unconsciously as a result of their confidence.) But again, this behavior simply means that someone feels just fine.

Chase also says that the one exception to this is when a person has their arms behind their back and one hand is clasping the arm behind the back, which can either be indicative of self-restraint, where someone is restraining his- or herself due to anger; or out of fear that they are going to do something they would rather not.

An example of the first (anger/self-restraint) scenario can be observed in a courtroom when a suspect stands to listen to a jury's verdict. The second (fear/self-restraint) scenario is seen, for instance, when someone who doesn't want to bungee jump is peering at the equipment looming near the edge of the platform, says Chase.

 

[expiated]

When you have opportunity, look up the details on what Chase says about...pinpointing an individual's dominant hand.

1. Check to see in which pocket they carry their wallet.
2. Observe which hand they use if you ask them to write something down.

You can predict that someone is about to get violet ahead of time if you observe them take a step back (even subtly...just a few inches) with their dominant leg ("dominant leg retreat").

Also, according to Hughes, decades of watching human behavior has revealed to him that when people experience strong disagreement with you, they will move their dominant shoulder backward just like the foot does before the beginning of a fight, though this too might be very subtle, only an inch or two.

 

[expiated]

When you have opportunity, look up the details on what Chase says about...identifying whether someone is breathing into their chest or their abdomen.

According to Hughes, you will be able to tell if someone's chest is rising and falling if you look at their face, and if their chest isn't rising and falling, you can assume they are breathing into their abdomen.

He says that people breathe into their abdomen anytime they are fully relaxed. Consequently, if someone is breathing into their chest, it can indicate they are in disagreement, though he also mentions that most of us will breath into our chest area in new social situations, and for a number of people, chest breathing is their default behavior.

This last point stresses the importance of noticing what's happening or being said when you observe a change or switch in breathing from stomach to chest or vice versa. His last sentence on the topic was: "Breathing location is important, but only when you see a change."

 

[expiated]

WEEK TWELVE:

What might a shrugging the shoulders indicate?

1. A lack of information
2. Submission
3. An apology (that you feel sorry)

Supposedly, our shoulders also come up when we are fearful [a supposed primitive response to protect (the arteries in) the neck]. For example, a domestic violence victim might raise his or her shoulders in the presence of the abuser.

Consequently, people with elevated anxiety might carry their shoulder high most of the time until they fully relax.

Also, subordinates might approach an authority figure with raised shoulders to show deference, as a child who wants something from a parent might do.

So then, in conversations, look for changes in the shoulders for signs you are doing or saying something that makes the other person feel fearful, uncertain or relaxed.

And one more thing...

A single-sided shoulder shrug (where an individual quickly raises one shoulder) supposedly indicates a lack of confidence in what's being said rather than any of the above emotions. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person is lying, but can certainly suggest he or she lacks faith in the statement they're making. For example, if your girlfriend says that yes, she likes the new hat you just bought down at the millinery at the same time that one of her shoulders spikes up, you have reason to doubt the accuracy of what just came out of her mouth.

(During this week, you're supposed to ignore the rest of the body, and just focus on the shoulders.)