Looks a little bit like this guy!Quote from turkeyneck:
The guy looks like a born criminal.
<img src="http://timothysykes.com/images/stories/TimCover1.jpg"/>
Rogue trader to cost SocGen $7bn
- Thread starter bigbiscuit
- Start date
<img src="http://timothysykes.com/images/stories/TimCover1.jpg"/>
too funny....
When getting ready for trading at a french bank be sure to do the following:
- watch rogue trader
- get passport up to date
- start trading, but don't be stupid. Your a professional working for a bank, not some kid playing a video game. So set stop loss at 8,000,000,000 and STICK with it.
- watch rogue trader
- get passport up to date
- start trading, but don't be stupid. Your a professional working for a bank, not some kid playing a video game. So set stop loss at 8,000,000,000 and STICK with it.
Goldman Sachs announces that they have discovered two rogue traders who have by passed their risk management systems and have a secret trading gain of around $18.6 billion. Both of the 26 year old janitors have been given honorary Princeton PhDs in mathematics and have been moved from the furnace room in the basement to corner offices on the trading floor. When interviewed, Jean Paul Arristide, the only janitor identified so far, admitted that his cousin who worked for Societe Generale in Paris, had emailed him from a trading station and as a joke showed him how to enter orders. Mr. Arristide began playing on a trading computer on the graveyard shift during his breaks, taking the opposite positions to his cousin. Mr. Arristide thought he was just playing around and did not realize that the trades were actually being executed. "I was just trying to annoy my cousin by doing the exact opposite...as a kind of funny joke!" "Then I would email him that he was, how do you say... une tete de pee-pee stupide.. a stupid dick head!" "Je m'appologise..c'est dommage."
A spokesman for Goldman explained that they have yet to identify the second roque trader who is thought to be hiding in the duct work of the HVAC systems in their New York head office.
In a separate news release Goldman indicated that the profits from the unauthorised trading would be added to the bonus pool for 2008. "It is a good start to the year, and we would like to thank Mr. Arristede for his fine janitorial work."
A spokesman for Goldman explained that they have yet to identify the second roque trader who is thought to be hiding in the duct work of the HVAC systems in their New York head office.
In a separate news release Goldman indicated that the profits from the unauthorised trading would be added to the bonus pool for 2008. "It is a good start to the year, and we would like to thank Mr. Arristede for his fine janitorial work."
FRIENDS of rogue trader Jerome Kerviel last night blamed his $7 billion losses on unbearable levels of stress brought on by a punishing 30 hour week.
Kerviel hid his November losses in a batch of wonderfully fresh croissant
Kerviel was known to start work as early as nine in the morning and still be at his desk at five or even five-thirty, often with just an hour and a half for lunch.
One colleague said: 'He was, how you say, une workaholique. I have a family and a mistress so I would leave the office at around 2pm at the latest, if I wasn't on strike.
'But Jerome was tied to that desk. One day I came back to the office at 3pm because I had forgotten my stupid little hat and there he was, fast asleep on the photocopier.
'At first I assumed he had been having sex with it, but then I remembered he had been working for almost six hours.'
As the losses mounted, Kerviel tried to conceal his bad trades by covering them with an intense red wine sauce, later switching to delicate pastry horns.
At one point he managed to dispose of dozens of tranactions by hiding them inside vol-au-vent cases and staging a fake reception.
Last night a spokesman for SócÃété Générálé denied that Kerviel was overworked, insisting he lost the money after betting that the French were about to stop being rude, lazy, arrogant bastards.
Kerviel hid his November losses in a batch of wonderfully fresh croissant
Kerviel was known to start work as early as nine in the morning and still be at his desk at five or even five-thirty, often with just an hour and a half for lunch.
One colleague said: 'He was, how you say, une workaholique. I have a family and a mistress so I would leave the office at around 2pm at the latest, if I wasn't on strike.
'But Jerome was tied to that desk. One day I came back to the office at 3pm because I had forgotten my stupid little hat and there he was, fast asleep on the photocopier.
'At first I assumed he had been having sex with it, but then I remembered he had been working for almost six hours.'
As the losses mounted, Kerviel tried to conceal his bad trades by covering them with an intense red wine sauce, later switching to delicate pastry horns.
At one point he managed to dispose of dozens of tranactions by hiding them inside vol-au-vent cases and staging a fake reception.
Last night a spokesman for SócÃété Générálé denied that Kerviel was overworked, insisting he lost the money after betting that the French were about to stop being rude, lazy, arrogant bastards.
FED gets pwned by a Frenchman. Amazing!!!
Those slimy frencies dumped the whole position creating havoc, and they kept it quiet from everybody creating panic all over the world. Such a huge selloff without any specific trigger was unprecedented.
What does Benny do now? He has to cut again, otherwise he will be admitting that he been pwned by the french!!
Anyway guess who won the Equity Derivative House of the Year in 2008
http://www.risk.net/public/showPage.html?page=685494
"
Risk Awards 2008
Equity Derivatives House of the Year - Société Générale
"
Also from the same magazine you can see that he was basically trading on index futures and forwards:
The unauthorised trades in European equity index futures had been going on for "a few months" in 2007, Mianné said, but "the losses were just in 2008".
"Why didnât we see that? Because he was working before at the middle and back office and knew perfectly how to hide the positions with some fictitious transactions on, letâs say, forwards on indexes, and in terms of the VAR spread test, delta every night on the position was zero." One of the techniques he used, Mianné said, involved rolling 30-day forward positions, which were unwound just before confirmation and replaced by forwards with different counterparties. "He was very clever," he adds, "but that's not an excuse, because we have to be more clever."
http://www.risk.net/public/showPage.html?page=690231
Those slimy frencies dumped the whole position creating havoc, and they kept it quiet from everybody creating panic all over the world. Such a huge selloff without any specific trigger was unprecedented.
What does Benny do now? He has to cut again, otherwise he will be admitting that he been pwned by the french!!
Anyway guess who won the Equity Derivative House of the Year in 2008
http://www.risk.net/public/showPage.html?page=685494
"
Risk Awards 2008
Equity Derivatives House of the Year - Société Générale
"
Also from the same magazine you can see that he was basically trading on index futures and forwards:
The unauthorised trades in European equity index futures had been going on for "a few months" in 2007, Mianné said, but "the losses were just in 2008".
"Why didnât we see that? Because he was working before at the middle and back office and knew perfectly how to hide the positions with some fictitious transactions on, letâs say, forwards on indexes, and in terms of the VAR spread test, delta every night on the position was zero." One of the techniques he used, Mianné said, involved rolling 30-day forward positions, which were unwound just before confirmation and replaced by forwards with different counterparties. "He was very clever," he adds, "but that's not an excuse, because we have to be more clever."
http://www.risk.net/public/showPage.html?page=690231