I haven't given up at all surf. I am a horrible walking contradiction. I think that the whole enterprise of trading is, dirty, for lack of a better word. On the other hand, I am truly challenged when I try to make systems that break the 50 microsecond level, or research strategies that are truly new and based on sound mathematical thinking. Or figuring out how to handle gigantic amounts of data to find needles in a haystack...
So, yeah, I can see why you think this about me. If I had to live my life again, I would be a research mathematician or a theoretical physicist at some university. Those things challenge me perfectly, and I don't have a single bad thing to say about the pursuit.