Thunderbolt,
I am going to use very, very simple english. That way, hopefully, my message will get through to your very, very simple mind.
Atheism is simply absence of belief in theism.
The prefix "a" means "without" . So A-theism , is, literally, without theism.
It is not an actual positive belief, but, rather, the absence of belief in theism (the belief in god).
It is really very simple.
The only thing you can tell about a person who says, "I am an atheist" , is that that person does not believe in the tenets of theism. Nothing more.
You cannot tell if that person is happy, sad, fulfilled, angry, jealous, hysterical, rational, a trader, a junkie or rock climber.
"I am an atheist", says nothing except that I do not believe in God.
BTW, i am glad to see that you have actually decided to "ponder" your beliefs. You are sadly mistaken to think that there are actually "issues" that confront people like me and, I imagine, Axeman, about "god". There aren't. I have been given absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe in god. I am most certainly not struggling with any "issues"; not about god, not about mankind's existance, not about the universe, actually, not about anything at all. I am actually a very happy person with a very high self-esteem and a very clear understanding of the world I live in.