Reforming America

R

rlb21079

While I totally agree with all the new policy decisions of the current Bush-Cheney junta, I think it best if we use our current and undeniable world dominance to start undoing our past mistakes. Here is a short list to kick it off:

1. Conquer France. We should never have saved them to begin with and we sure have the means to undo this one, so why not? It would be really great too if after defeating the pathetic whiners we immediately gave control to the Germans. Other than those pesky Nazi's the German people deserve more land. They are so fucking efficient and ruthless - they'd really do everyone a lot of good.

2. Reinstate slavery. HOWEVER, this time make slaves out the economy burdening white trash idiots that make up this nation's "heartland." Of course, only black's can have slaves. I'm not one for details, just big ideas - i'm a visionary type of guy, but I think Elvis Presley impersonators should be the first up on blocks. Auctions could be performed on the Howard Stern show where the negro with the worst story of racism would get first choice.

3. Ammend the Constitution. Get rid of the whole free speach pretention. It doesn't exist anyway, and when it does no one is listening so we might as well be honest with ourselves and banish free speach. Then, if I yell fire in a crowded movie theatre or threaten to kill the president or join the dixie chicks - I'll know exactly why I'm being punished. And so will everyone else, which is what this country needs - some clear rules to follow.

This is just to start, whence we get going I think a lot more can be done but I think it best to start with some easily accomplished, easily understood goals. Keeps morale up, and we sure as shit need that right now.
 
heres some needed reforms:

1) quit givng money to Israel. it creates too many problems and what do they do for us?? too many jewish policymakers are wasting my tax money on their homeland and it just makes the extremists over there hate us more.

2) tighten our borders- everyone who can fly/swim/drive/ sneak across the border should be sent the fuck back- what- I owe you healthcare and benefits from my hard earned cash cuz you got in? no way. hell, mexicans take buses across the border just to have babies in USA hospitals to collect benefits. maybe if there weren't such liberal pussies in congress we could landmine the borders except for checkpoints, bet that would stop immigration and think of the money we would save not having to pay as many border guards.....

3)welfare- only people who really need it- ie physcially/ mentally handicapped should get it- being a lazy sack of shit and not working does not entitle you to a cut of my hard earned $$$.

4) lower our damn SEC fees- the increase is horseshit unless we go back to nickel spreads.
 
the only reform we really need is to educate the public about the constitution and then start living by it. Its the best constitution ever written, if we would only follow it more closely.
 
D) A Lesson an English. Preferably not by the same cretonites who populate the profession, I'm sorry - public office, of teaching. I think that group has had quite enough time to warp and distort the language, and the thoughts too of our prodigious peoples. Get 'em while they're young!, or so the recruiters say.

-Irregardless. Doesn't exist. Regardless of what people may do or say, there are just some things that don't make sense. Illogical as it may seem, sometimes people add letters for no reason at all.
-Tragic. Here's a word, among many, that has been entirely stripped of its meaning by simple-minded and careless overuse. Whatever happened to unfortunate, regrettable, lamentable, hapless, ill-fated, ill-starred, unpropitious, lugubrious, perhaps avoidable, 'a shame,' or just plain too fuckin' bad. What?, have these words just fallen off the fucking planet?
-Freedom. This word hasn't meant a thing - ever. It's origins in philosophy, soon turned political philosophy, are beyond dating; but - never before has it been used with an effectiveness as in this, our current time. Freedom is, and always has been, one person's bowdlerization of another, but until recently has not been itself used as a framework for manipulation. But hey - Americans are a special people, capable of very special things...which brings me to the next word on the list.
-Living Document. This is a throwback in linguistical terms, hmmm...a pun, whereby a phrase is built from two contradictory parts. A document is a representation of an idea, it is the transcription of code upon a relatively fixed media so that this idea or ideas may be referenced at some later point in time. A tree is living. A tree may be made into paper, yes, from which a document may be constructed. But hey - by that time it's no longer living.

But why quibble, they're just words. Nietzsche was a prick, so to hell with his thoughts on the matter. Bottom line: There is no more entertaining, captivating, thought reducing act than that of a new word. Gives us all something to live for. Sure as shit better to make new words than be trapped using old ones.
 
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