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Quote from BSAM:

Is it true that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float on his back?

I used to play water polo, but my horse drowned.
 
Quote from hughb:

Accidentally poisoned myself with insecticide. I fell asleep on the sofa after I sprayed it, and I must have inhaled a lot of fumes. The only time I've seen more mucous than this was when I was tear gassed in navy boot camp. My chest feels like its on fire and being ripped out and I can only sleep for a few minutes at a time. This goddam chemical taste in my mouth is horrible. I'm guessing that I'm better off by not taking a drug like Actifed that retards mucous formation because I assume it's the mucous that is removing the chemicals. Sound about right?

Kids, let this be a lesson. Don't drink and spray insecticide. You can do one, or the other, but not both. (jka)
 
Get this. A guy has a job at a fast food biz and still collects partial unemployment benefits. Seems the gov't makes up the difference because he is only part time. I didn't know this.
 
I was watching a guy fishing this morning and I said to him, "There's no way you'd catch me doing that."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Well for starters you'd need a much bigger hook."
 
Spent as much time outside in the fresh air as I could, I think it helped. Still feel sick though. I can tell my liver (and maybe the rest of my internal organs) are swollen because they are pressing against my stomach, allowing it to hold only a little bit of food.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Get this. A guy has a job at a fast food biz and still collects partial unemployment benefits. Seems the gov't makes up the difference because he is only part time. I didn't know this.

I didn't know that either - I was aware that part timers are eligible for a lot of government handouts, but I thought unemployment wasn't one of them.
 
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