Psychology of success
- Thread starter oddiduro
- Start date
Quote from oddiduro:
Variants of this thread have been done before, but perhaps some of you successful traders can help this person.
A story, not necessarily my own.
I have turned the corner.
For five years, I have told friends and family that I was going to be a successful trader. None actually criticized, but all gave that knowing, "yeah, sure you are", look.
Since that time, I have been able to turn heavily profitable, enough to buy a few nice things. Lately, I seem to be under heavy scrutiny. It seems that many people are looking for the slightest sign of being "puffed up" by my success.
I have been the butt of many negative, "rich boy" comments. I come from a lower middle class environment. It seems that my peers are angry with me for having the audacity to accomplish my goals.
I have taken some remedial steps, such as not talking about my trades anymore. Now I am accused of being "secretive". If I talk about my trades, then I am "bragging". Even casual conversation is often interpreted as having some kind of hidden meaning.
I bought my girlfriend a Lexus. While she liked it, many of my family and friends accuse me of "showing off". Worse, some of them have begun to ask for money, since "I have so much of it, and I don't need all of it."
It is truly difficult and painful to believe that people you thought were you friends could be angry about something they have seen you toil at. Thousands of dollars, dozens of books, hundreds of manhours. Working two jobs for capitol. I didn't win the lottery. I earned this.
I fear that I am going to have to move away and start over. I had no idea that success had so many pitfalls. I almost want to unplug my system, give it all away, demonstate that I have nothing, so that I can feel "normal".
End of story.
Can this person salvage his past relationships? If so, how? Should he move? Does he need to find new friends? If so, from where? Can he be "normal" again?
ANY comments about this story would help my friend a great deal. I will print the thread and give it to him.
Happy new year
Regards
Oddi
I'm reading a book by Suze Orman who attributes much of how we view or success or lack of it is determined by our earliest memories of money.
he sounds guilty even though he worked HARD to get the wealth he's built. giving a girlfriend a lexus is part of the equation.
i don't think (and did not write) that money eliminates all problems. money doesn't do anything at all - it's neutral - the owner of the money does or does not.
anyway - what i wanted to tell is that money gives the opportunity to solve problems - and that if you have success and more money that you (or the money) don't necessarily have to change your life - but you can simply see it as a piece of security and freedom.
having the money to buy ten ferraris, a yacht and a lear jet doesn't mean that you HAVE TO buy all that stuff.
Nothing creates : speculation is sort of legal robbery so much less risky in fact than being a legal "thief" 
. People know it. They know it is their 401K money that are robbed. The problem is the system: it favors such robbery so people have more interest to go there than to create true enterprise. That's why I am here also: I'm fed up to work ten times more, take ten times more risk, have costfull employees, undergo crisis of economy amplified and even provoked by stock market in real business than to speculate in futures market. What is possible is to give back the money the surplus to those who really need it. I hate assistance of socialism but with this system they have generated so many distressed people so that assistance have become obligatory. I hate also all those "fake" ethical funds which are in fact nothing but ethical so give your money to true NON GOV humanitarian organisations - except the red cross that's my opinion. Don't give money to individual people you know because it will become a vicious circle.
It can also be that the person thinks that he "deserves" it because he has worked for it and shows it too much but I'm sorry to say that this will make people even more angry because it is not really work for them: speculation doesn't bring any value to economy. A work that brings no value is parasitism. So we are parasits and parasits shouldn't parade in front of others.
. People know it. They know it is their 401K money that are robbed. The problem is the system: it favors such robbery so people have more interest to go there than to create true enterprise. That's why I am here also: I'm fed up to work ten times more, take ten times more risk, have costfull employees, undergo crisis of economy amplified and even provoked by stock market in real business than to speculate in futures market. What is possible is to give back the money the surplus to those who really need it. I hate assistance of socialism but with this system they have generated so many distressed people so that assistance have become obligatory. I hate also all those "fake" ethical funds which are in fact nothing but ethical so give your money to true NON GOV humanitarian organisations - except the red cross that's my opinion. Don't give money to individual people you know because it will become a vicious circle.It can also be that the person thinks that he "deserves" it because he has worked for it and shows it too much but I'm sorry to say that this will make people even more angry because it is not really work for them: speculation doesn't bring any value to economy. A work that brings no value is parasitism. So we are parasits and parasits shouldn't parade in front of others.
Quote from oddiduro:
Variants of this thread have been done before, but perhaps some of you successful traders can help this person.
A story, not necessarily my own.
I have turned the corner.
For five years, I have told friends and family that I was going to be a successful trader. None actually criticized, but all gave that knowing, "yeah, sure you are", look.
Since that time, I have been able to turn heavily profitable, enough to buy a few nice things. Lately, I seem to be under heavy scrutiny. It seems that many people are looking for the slightest sign of being "puffed up" by my success.
I have been the butt of many negative, "rich boy" comments. I come from a lower middle class environment. It seems that my peers are angry with me for having the audacity to accomplish my goals.
I have taken some remedial steps, such as not talking about my trades anymore. Now I am accused of being "secretive". If I talk about my trades, then I am "bragging". Even casual conversation is often interpreted as having some kind of hidden meaning.
I bought my girlfriend a Lexus. While she liked it, many of my family and friends accuse me of "showing off". Worse, some of them have begun to ask for money, since "I have so much of it, and I don't need all of it."
It is truly difficult and painful to believe that people you thought were you friends could be angry about something they have seen you toil at. Thousands of dollars, dozens of books, hundreds of manhours. Working two jobs for capitol. I didn't win the lottery. I earned this.
I fear that I am going to have to move away and start over. I had no idea that success had so many pitfalls. I almost want to unplug my system, give it all away, demonstate that I have nothing, so that I can feel "normal".
End of story.
Can this person salvage his past relationships? If so, how? Should he move? Does he need to find new friends? If so, from where? Can he be "normal" again?
ANY comments about this story would help my friend a great deal. I will print the thread and give it to him.
Happy new year
Regards
Oddi
If you are not conscious that this system favors socialism this is an exerpt from a book on futures market for professionals (I translate):
"Some conditions are favorable to the success of a market:
- [...] interest rates must stay volatil and the volume of public debt [ie typical of socialist regim !] must be important enough. Even with a low volatility, if it applies to a big volume of titles, this will create a need for risk covering, since the potential loss due to these effects will be important"
So high volatility, high public debts are "necessary" for speculation now don't wonder why instability of economy (due to the impact of volatility) and public debts will never be solved and ... many people be in misery because debts means more tax (including indirect taxes, taxing speculators instead of citizens is a way to tax indirectly the citizens since it is their money that are pumped by speculation), more tax means less enterprises, less enterprises means less employment or delocalisation in poor countries, less employment means more assistancy and socialism politics ... under left wing but even under right wing gov since when the bad is done and implemented at the root no government can change a thing but only cosmetically.
"Some conditions are favorable to the success of a market:
- [...] interest rates must stay volatil and the volume of public debt [ie typical of socialist regim !] must be important enough. Even with a low volatility, if it applies to a big volume of titles, this will create a need for risk covering, since the potential loss due to these effects will be important"
So high volatility, high public debts are "necessary" for speculation now don't wonder why instability of economy (due to the impact of volatility) and public debts will never be solved and ... many people be in misery because debts means more tax (including indirect taxes, taxing speculators instead of citizens is a way to tax indirectly the citizens since it is their money that are pumped by speculation), more tax means less enterprises, less enterprises means less employment or delocalisation in poor countries, less employment means more assistancy and socialism politics ... under left wing but even under right wing gov since when the bad is done and implemented at the root no government can change a thing but only cosmetically.
Quote from harrytrader:
Nothing creates : speculation is sort of legal robbery so much less risky in fact than being a legal "thief"
It can also be that the person thinks that he "deserves" it because he has worked for it and shows it too much but I'm sorry to say that this will make people even more angry because it is not really work for them: speculation doesn't bring any value to economy. A work that brings no value is parasitism. So we are parasits and parasits shouldn't parade in front of others.
Quote from harrytrader:
Nothing creates : speculation is sort of legal robbery so much less risky in fact than being a legal "thief"
It can also be that the person thinks that he "deserves" it because he has worked for it and shows it too much but I'm sorry to say that this will make people even more angry because it is not really work for them: speculation doesn't bring any value to economy. A work that brings no value is parasitism. So we are parasits and parasits shouldn't parade in front of others.
Do I understand you correctly if I read that you think speculation doesn't add real value?
You might seem smart, but aren't too bright in my opinion. Like many academics, not?
Sorry but if you ignore that speculators are only supposed to endorse risk and create liquidity for economy and not to create supplement of risks and worse profit from it all the more so that there are inefficiencies in stock market, you should revise your economic lessons. Today there are less risk to exploit market inefficiencies than to create a real enterprise.
And it doesn't change what is said above: this forces into a socialist regim with high national debts and poverty & underemployment for economy !
And it doesn't change what is said above: this forces into a socialist regim with high national debts and poverty & underemployment for economy !
Second hand car dealers don't add value as well then? Well, the economy would be better of without them, or what about meat traders, uh, should I go on, before we know it, there isn't an economy left to discuss about
