Thanks, very much. And thanks also to Alexis.
And this he said is also very good in terms of conciseness and I agree with it: "If you trust your strategies, there is no room for thinking or doubts".
I can tell you lots of examples on it from my discretionary trading. One day you exit too early and you'll ask yourself "what is wrong with me for exiting so early?". The next day you apply a stoploss right before it went your way and you'll say "what is wrong with me for not trusting my original idea?". The next day you will trust that idea and you'll take a huge loss or even blow out your account and say "why did I do it again and not apply the stoploss?". With the thousands of trades I've made I have come across all the above situations and contradictory thoughts.
The only answer is that I didn't know where statistically it made sense to apply takeprofits and stoplosses. If people are gifted they can do the stats in their own minds, and make money with discretionary trading. But if after 12 years of discretionary trading (like me) people are still consistently losing money (and blowing out their accounts) it means they can't do the math and the stats in their head (most likely because their emotions get in the way) and they haven't figured a way to trade profitably. The sooner you realize it, the better - if you can't think straight, then do not trade discretionary. I can't believe it already took me 12 years and still I didn't quit trading discretionary (just like people don't "quit" smoking). For those who can't think straight, and will never be able to make money with discretionary trading (trust me) in my opinion the best way to go is trading systems and even better automated trading systems. Now the sickest thing in my case is seeing that despite having developed a system that works, I still kept losing money for a whole year (after I started running the system) because I still felt the need to try and make money with discretionary trading in the meanwhile.
Possible explanations:
1) I didn't take trading as work but as a game
2) I didn't need the money
3) I didn't have full confidence in my system and wanted to "help" it (but I only hurt it)
4) After spending years on building systems and trading, I had cut off all other hobbies, had nothing else to do, and traded out of boredom
5) Maybe the desire to succeed even faster or maybe - to the contrary - the fear of succeding too fast. I am puzzled about this one. Maybe it was self-sabotage or maybe it was over-confidence. It'd be too easy to say "self-sabotage" because that would be good for my ego, as it would be like saying "if I don't succeed is only because I don't want to", so the true cause may actually be greed and over-confidence. It is probably that I thought I had the markets all figured out, while nobody will ever be able to predict every move. For me, after I get a trade right (or the system I built does), it takes very little time before I start thinking I am god. And, whereas I am a big dreamer in every aspect of my life, the markets don't allow that. If you're thinking something unrealistic, the markets let you know pretty fast, especially the futures markets.
I am not selling you any courses on trader psychology - I am just telling you to listen to my advice, because I have lost money with discretionary trading consistently for 12 full years. If you don't have a method that has worked with paper trading (with frequent trades for a few months), then simply do not trade. This is a great recipe for not losing any money. If you follow this recipe from now on you will either make money or not lose any at least. Last month my system made x % returns, and in the meanwhile I have lost it all, the entire x % return, with my sick discretionary trading. Now if I'll have a drawdown I'll be screwed and blow out my account. I'll have to thank myself for forgetting my mistakes so many times, for not understanding that if people use automated trading systems there are reasons and it's not because the systems are smarter than those who build them, but because they remember everything, they wait forever, and they don't have any emotions.
Just like right now, I am going to bed late again, and tomorrow at work I will be tired. The system would have gone to bed on time to be rested.
I believe the truth lies with me and I need to be at peace with myself before I can be a successful trader. I need to start with the little things in my life and it will grow from there. I am flawed and only I can fix me.