Quote from Error 404:
Great thread. Bush is wonderful and will surely win in 2004. Might as well cancel the election. It's all a foregone conclusion already.
Exactly!
(From a recent Borowitzreport: )
BUSH DECIDES TO DO EVERYTHING IN SECRET FROM NOW ON
Holds Midnight Press Conference in Guam
Delighted by the success of his super-secret visit to Baghdad, President George W. Bush has decided to do everything in secret from now on, sources acknowledged today.
White House press secretary Scott McClellan refused to confirm or deny the President's decision to enshroud the executive branch in mystery, saying only that it was "a secret."
But Mr. McClellan did say that from now on, all information relating to foreign policy, judicial appointments and especially the President's schedule would be divulged on a "need to know" basis only.
While the secret Baghdad trip may have served as an inspiration for Mr. Bush's new policy, the President has long coveted the air of secrecy surrounding Vice President Dick Cheney, whom Mr. Bush has seen above ground only twice in the past eighteen months.
Reportedly, Mr. Bush believes that his decision to evade detection will not prevent him from getting his message out to the American people, although he intends to deliver that message from now on in a top-secret code known only to him.
In a sign that the President's new policy has already taken effect, Mr. Bush held an unannounced press conference last night at midnight at a remote Air Force base in Guam, attended by no one.
To avoid being spotted, the President did not take Air Force One, instead flying in an unmarked plane operated by Hooters Air.
Mr. Bush opened his press conference by saying, "Mixdy levgo trisdikk fleddxy," before dashing back into the plane and jetting home to Crawford, Texas, where aides said he planned to do "something."