pathetic when it comes to networking and making friends

R

Renegen

I'd like some help on an issue of mine, I am just very bad at networking and relationships in general.
Really bad. I might have only 1 or 2 friends that go beyond acquaintances and would answer me back if I sent them a call next year.

For example, I have a few people I'm conversing with in my classes but I'm just not able to take it anywhere and I probably won't see any of them again. Last semester I had this study group going with a great people of people and you guessed it, I haven't spoken to them since class ended.

All this is forcing me to work harder on my trading, I see it as my only way out. I'm an introvert granted and I don't like it very much to spend time doing nothing but talking to strangers, but I just lack the skills to relate to others and build things we have in common(I like trading, don't you?) I'm also bad at getting myself invited to get togethers, initiating anything and just overall building a relationship of any kind.

I don't fancy going friendless in the big bad world out there. My (only) friend is just telling me how in order to have power you need networking.
 
I think it is a common problem. Guys tend to compartmentalize relationships. We have our gym buddies or our work pals, etc but it wouldn't occur to us to go on a trip with them or invite them over. Women are different.

There are many things you can do to network. Join clubs or groups that interest you. Take classes, if you're outof school. Many cities have all kinds of evening classes that are filled with people looking to connect. Join a church. Do volunteer work. A great place to meet women is your local animal shelter. Work on a political campaign.

The bottom line is if you work to become an interesting person, people will begin to seek you out. To have friends, you also have to be a friend.
 
It may sound "old school" - but hang out at the local pubs, you don't need to drink alcohol, but you'll see the same guys/girls there often. I'm not really a sports fan, but I'll bring up the latest game or Nascar or something. Some of the basics tend to transcend generations IMO.

Don
 
Quote from armoured saint:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome ?
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I know why you said that, because I said "I can't relate". I used the wrong word, I couldn't find the right one. For example my friend told me he is best friends with people with similar experiences in life. Well I wouldn't be able to find out if we had similar experiences in life, the topics are all very basic.
I am able to empathize and read people and all the usual stuff autist people can't do.

Lots of good advice Beltway. I have these guy friends at work, we get along pretty well and they all hang out together but when I suggested we meet outside of work they say they're very busy etc Is this because of the compartiment problem as they see me?
 
Quote from Renegen:

I know why you said that, because I said "I can't relate". I used the wrong word, I couldn't find the right one. For example my friend told me he is best friends with people with similar experiences in life. Well I wouldn't be able to find out if we had similar experiences in life, the topics are all very basic.
I am able to empathize and read people and all the usual stuff autist people can't do.

Lots of good advice Beltway. I have these guy friends at work, we get along pretty well and they all hang out together but when I suggested we meet outside of work they say they're very busy etc Is this because of the compartiment problem as they see me?
More...

I think people can sometimes be cautious about revealing too much of their private life to people they work with. Let's say your friends are all stoners. They would be reluctant to invite you over because they wouldn't know how you react or maybe you would cause problems at work, etc. Just a hypothetical, of course. Also, I found that when a lot of my friends got married, there wasn;t as much opportunity to get together. The wives or girlfriends see a single friend as a threat.

It can be tough in a big city where you don't know anyone and don't have extended family. You just have to resist the urge to chill out at home watching TV every night.
 
Get the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie. I invested in it 10 years ago and it had improved my social life dramatically.
 
Just hang out in the Politics & Religion forum here on ET. There are plenty of really lonely conspiracy theory types that hang out there, that I'm sure are desperate for a friend. Just throw a few buzzwords/phrases around like 'New World Order", "Building 7", "Sheople", "Wake Up People", etc...
 
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