Where you completely fail in your logic, is that you did not sell that put to a computer. You sold it to a human being, as any MM will adjust price and vols either manually or automatically.
You can place an order to cover your put for $5 or whatever stupid price you think it is worth, but the owner of that put will make sure you feel the pain and only transact with you at their price. And that is when you will blow up, despite your “superior intellectual capabilities”, because you run tests on simulated data lol