IMAO: In My World - Guilt By Association
"âMcCain wants to distract you from the issues,â Barack Obama told a crowd at a campaign rally. âInstead of focusing on the economy and his mistakes with Iraq, he wants to distract you with my past associations or how I keep getting buckets stuck on my head â things that have nothing to do with the issues that concern you. Recently, McCain has started talking about my association with Crack Dealer Steve⦠a man I hardly even know and someone who has nothing to do with the financial crisis.â
Crack Dealer Steve waved to the crowd from behind Obama. âHey. I sell crack to school kids.â
âMcCain wants you to forget about the issues and instead smears me by association just because I sometimes play golf with Crack Dealer Steve, occasionally have him give a ride to my kids, and because Iâve driven getaway for him.â
âThat reminds me,â Crack Dealer Steve said. âCan you be my alibi for Thursday?â
âSure.â Obama looked back to the crowd. âAnd how was I even supposed to know heâs a crack dealer? I just knew him as a respected man in my community.â
âWell, I did introduce myself to you as âCrack Dealer Steveâ and asked if your kids wanted to buy some crack.â
âAnyway, the point is not my associations, but my judgment,â Obama said, âthe judgment to play down those associations. Also, there are my accomplishments, like how I put together a desk I bought from Ikea two years ago.â
âItâs true; I helped,â Crack Dealer Steve stated.
âInstead, of talking about the important things. McCain wants to spread lies about me.â
âLike that whole Muslim thing,â Crack Dealer Steve said. âItâs not true. Iâve never seen a Muslim get totally hammered as much as Barry.â
âWhat McCain should be talking about is our financial crisis!â
Crack Dealer Steve nodded. âLately, Iâve had to raise my prices on crack so much, school kids can hardly even afford it. I guess I can try selling crack to adults, but thatâs a market Iâm unfamiliar with.â
âPlus, these people McCain tries to associate with me arenât even necessarily supporters,â Obama continued.
âAgain, thatâs true,â Crack Dealer Steve added. âIâm not voting for Barry; you canât trust this spaz with jack. I once had him hold a bunch of crack for me for just a day, and you wouldnât believe how much was missing when I got it back.â
âAlso, to bring up these associations is obvious racism.â
Crack Dealer Steve looked confused. âI donât get it; howâs it racism?â
âYouâre white,â Obama explained. âNotice how they keep bringing up these white people to associate me with as if to emphasize in comparison how black I am. They never bring up all my numerous questionable black associates.â
âDonât forget me!â Jeremiah Wright called out.
Obama chuckled. âOh yeah⦠except for Wright.â
âI hate the honkeys!â Wright yelled out enthusiastically.
âAnd America,â Obama reminded him.
âBecause itâs full of honkeys!â
Crack Dealer Steve shook his head. âYou really do hang out with a lot of weirdos. I mean, Iâm a crack dealer, and I hang out with a better class of people. I donât know anyone who bombed the Pentagon.â
Obama covered his mike and turned to Crack Dealer Steve. âYouâre really not helping.â
âI didnât know I was supposed to help. I thought I was just here because your kids wanted crack or something.â
âIf they wanted crack, they didnât tell me,â Obama said. âNow stop embarrassing me!â
âBah. Iâm outta here, Barry.â Crack Dealer Steve started to leave. âOh, but could you give me a ride later? Iâm going to have to ditch my car.â
âSure.â Obama chuckled. âYouâre lucky weâre such good friends.â"
