I messed up today and was lucky to have made the $4 that I did. I started trading at 2:15 EST. First of all, I wasn't seeing any definitive direction in the tape, and all that I had to go on was market action. Instead of just taking the afternoon off, I slipped into some old bad habits.
Trade 1 (BOT 1249.5 SLD 1252.5) I almost got stopped out on this one. Also, when the market was at 53.5X54 it was painfully obvious that it wasn't going to go any higher, but I still didn't get out because I wanted more. Anyway, I came to my senses and got out at 1252.5.
Trade 2 (SLD 1249 BOT 1251.5) First of all, there was no entry signal for this trade (it was just an impulse). Second, I received a buy signal at 1250 but did nothing (so I was short when I was getting a signal to go long). Then I let this trade go all the way to 53.5X54 where I considered reversing but thankfully I came to my senses on that idea (actually I didn't; I was waiting for it to penetrate 1254 but it never did). Then it went all the way back down to 48X48.5 (a profit!) but I still didn't get out because originally I had thought that the tape was pointing down. Finally when it was at 50X50.5 I put an OCA combination for 1248.5/1251.5 and 1251.5 got hit first (which didn't surprise me).
I don't know what I did today, but it wasn't trading. The only thing that I can say in my defense is that since I started pure tape reading, the tape has usually pointed either up or down. This afternoon there was no clear indication (I thought it was pointing down but I wasn't getting any confirmation), which I haven't had too much experience with. Not that that excuses my actions today. Trade 1 doesn't bother me too much because at least I had some trade management going for me. Trade 2 doesn't even deserve to be called Trade 2 because there was no trading involved, it should be called Gamble 1. What bothers me about Gamble 1 is that I could see that the market action favored the long side. I knew Gamble 1 wasn't going to work, but I did nothing. Even when I had already been defeated, yet was given the merciful opportunity to get out at 1248.5, I still did nothing. I deserved a lot worse that I got today, and for that I am grateful. Hopefully I can learn from this experience. I think that my fatal flaw today was putting my own needs (my daily point goal) above the market. This becomes obvious when I consider that Gamble 1 was initiated at 3:20 EST (I was running out of time). Consequently, I was trying to force things even when I didn't have a clear edge (Gamble 1). I should also note that I've had a bullish bias since Monday (I'm not just saying that to try to look good either) but as of now my bias is bearish. I don't really use my own personal bias for anything other than a template, so for the most part it's inconsequential. I can't distinguish whether this bearish bias is coming from the market or from my disappointment about today (it seems like a gut feeling), so I need to be extremely careful. The reason I say this is because gambling begets gambling. Although I feel like trying to salvage the week (its been filled with wasted opportunities) I think that it will be best if I just let it go. As far as tomorrow goes, I need to concentrate on protecting me from myself. If I do any trading at all, it will be on the defensive. Right now, I am unable to log-in to IB to post an executions screenshot.
