I got stung for 20 points on the short side today. I think that the main problem was that by holding over the weekend I lost my objectivity, which caused me to slip into spectator mode. Also, I wasn't mentally prepared to execute a contingency plan. I suppose I could write some long and lengthy commentary about the trade, but it doesn't seem worth it. All I can say about today was that I wasn't trading; I was a spectator to my own destruction. Anyway, I'm determined to make this a positive week, so I've got some work ahead of me.
One bad habit that I get into is trading what I think is about to happen instead of what is happening right now. I was short from 1533 and at 1530 I saw it was headed to 1534, but instead of getting out at 1530 and getting back in at 1534 if conditions were still favorable, I decided that I didn't want to risk being wrong and I would just wait it out. Well it went to 1534, but then just kept on going. A recurring problem seems to be that I'm so afraid of making little mistakes that I end up making huge ones, which could also be described as second guessing myself. I'm just too good of a trader to let stuff like this happen.
I also continue to struggle with apathy, and it seems to get worse instead of better. Also, my apathy is multidimensional. For example, not caring about whether I win or lose (outcome) actually makes me a better trader. But not caring about how large a loss becomes after a certain point makes me a much worse trader. You'd think that I would be able to make myself care about some things and not about others, but it doesn't seem to be something I have control over. If anyone has any intelligent thoughts about this, I'd like to hear them. Thanks.
