IMAO: Nuke Something
"I donât think other nations are fearing us enough. If Barack Obama is elected president, no evil nation is going to worry about us.
So weâre going to have to nuke a city.
Canât we just nuke the moon?
No. Nuking the moon was meant to be a preventative measure to sissiness. If we have a full onset of sissiness, though, the only way we can get evil foreigners to know weâre serious is to nuke one of their cities.
But wonât that kill lots of people, many of them innocent?
No. See, this is where everyone is stupid except for me. You need to think outside the box with nuclear weapons. What weâre going to do is have a free concert for our enemies like Madonna or something â who knows what murderous terrorists like â and the concert will be a ways out of the city. Everyone will go to is because itâs free and the only other thing they have to entertain themselves with is to throw rocks at each other. So theyâll go and enjoy the concert and when they get back home theyâll find a big smoldering crater where their city used to be with a sign in front of it saying, âHa! You got nuked! Signed, America.â Theyâll shake their fists in the air and shout angrily, âAmerica!â but, in the end, no one gets hurt so itâs all good fun.
But wonât the Democrats be against this?
Of course; thatâs why you donât tell them. If youâre going to nuke a city, the last thing youâd want to do is tell any Democrats because theyâll just whine and bitch and moan about it. Thatâs where we get the old military saying from: âDemocrats are useless and annoying.â
Anyway, better get on this quick. It can be President Bushâs last act as president if Barack Obama is elected.
âHey, Barry. Hereâs the keys to the White House. By the way, I just nuked a city. Have fun.â"
