Found this very funny post on another board and it was too good not to share. Another poster made up a "Mikhail Prokhorov (New Jersey Nets' billionaire new Russian owner)" alias and posted this gem:
"Heat. This is warn.
First you pay many rubles to Christov Bosh and countryman Dwade. Was OK. You give rubles to King as well? I will now crush you.
Glorious Nyets offered maximum rubles amount to King LeBron and get verbal commitment of "maybe." Black friend Jason-Z say Miami is nice place to live. I say Trenton is nice place to live. Almost nice as Moscow.
This is warn. I have crushed Knick with Billboard. You will surrender King LeBron to Nyets or I will execute following plan of action.
1. I make giant billboard to block sun in Miami. Not nice place anymore. Property value down. Will Smith make no more song about glory of Miami.
2. I buy Heat and trade King and comrade Bosh to Nyet. Prime Minister Stern will have to be terminate for this to be allow. I will crush Prime Minister Stern. Then move Heat to Novosibirsk to die in famine of cold Russian winter. You now have cheer for Magic.
3. I release my Boris Bear in center of Miami. You are no longer safe.
Make decide."
"Heat. This is warn.
First you pay many rubles to Christov Bosh and countryman Dwade. Was OK. You give rubles to King as well? I will now crush you.
Glorious Nyets offered maximum rubles amount to King LeBron and get verbal commitment of "maybe." Black friend Jason-Z say Miami is nice place to live. I say Trenton is nice place to live. Almost nice as Moscow.
This is warn. I have crushed Knick with Billboard. You will surrender King LeBron to Nyets or I will execute following plan of action.
1. I make giant billboard to block sun in Miami. Not nice place anymore. Property value down. Will Smith make no more song about glory of Miami.
2. I buy Heat and trade King and comrade Bosh to Nyet. Prime Minister Stern will have to be terminate for this to be allow. I will crush Prime Minister Stern. Then move Heat to Novosibirsk to die in famine of cold Russian winter. You now have cheer for Magic.
3. I release my Boris Bear in center of Miami. You are no longer safe.
Make decide."