Negative reactions from relatives

[Trader Curt]

Just keep in mind that they probably care about your best interest and don't want to see you lose. I know I have to hide a lot of things from my family and friends, and I get the same kind of peace as if I were working a 9-5 job.

People don't take you seriously when you tell them you trade, and if they believe it they see what they can get out of you. You're better off living a secret life than to deal with the negative crap that comes from people knowing you have money. Good luck

 

[longandshort]

Empathize, engage, and encourage. You have power over the way people perceive you.

 

[volpri]

Just keep in mind that they probably care about your best interest and don't want to see you lose. I know I have to hide a lot of things from my family and friends, and I get the same kind of peace as if I were working a 9-5 job.

People don't take you seriously when you tell them you trade, and if they believe it they see what they can get out of you. You're better off living a secret life than to deal with the negative crap that comes from people knowing you have money. Good luck

That will be their cover ...i.e. that they really care..when in reality they are jealous that you are stepping out and doing something they secretly wish they had the guts to do. If they REALLY cared they would tell you “they think it is risky but they sincerely hope it works out real good for you and they are cheering you on to success.” Proof they are jealous is every time they get around you and can they start lecturing you again on why it won’t work and how risky it is. Just tell them “all of life is a risk. Just wish me the best.” If they refuse to do so they make themselves look bad especially if other people are around hearing the conversation.

 

[Nobert]

People don't take you seriously when you tell them you trade, and if they believe it they see what they can get out of you. You're better off living a secret life

That's the irony of this profession.

Either it's skepticism. (everything is risky in their eyes, while, actually, life is so risky, that one day we gonna die one way or another)

Or, it's, as you said, - what can i get from you.

But when you think better about it - the essence of any profession - is to provide something, and yet, the difference would be, that the percentage of those who have a very selfish desire, based on financial success, in this game, is much higher than in any other profession (maybe).

Say you're doctor - the patient either gets healed or he - dies.
Say you trader/investor - the person either gets info/$$$ or... He lives on as he did prior.
(if, one is providing with info for free)

Both selfish, yet, there's a difference.

If you are really something, sooner or later they will realize this...sooner or later they will realize this... at least when you park your Porsche GT 2 next to their old Toyota Hickups.

ROFLMAO yes sir that will really shut ’em up! If you want to probe a little deeper ask em what is that contraption they are driving that is parked beside your Porsche GT2?
View attachment 244355

No, not yet, maybe after 10 years. But, one cannot deny of using such, i would say, dark goals, as some sort of motivational drive, so that in the future, >>> one day <<< it could be said : ,,- I told you.''

May this dilemma be the biggest one in your life.

The percentage is quite low on this outcome, because, most likely, some really, heavy, shit-storms are coming this way... (laughs)

I had a similar situation with an aunt of mine and went with the latter approach. She was shut down immediately.

Do have such aunt as well. Shes also, if one could say so, a ,,non-believer'' (big smile)
The thing is, that those Christmas, are going to be in... Her place. Beautiful house, big family and as i expect,- lot's of odd comments.

Woman is a second hand of one CEO, so shes scanning me, like some potential employee, and still, can't see that which i am doing, because of all biased thinking and our past together (she raised me up, like a second mom).

So the solution, for the Christmas table, is quite simple, - promised to be back only, when i will be making a living out of this. Until then - nope. And then when that happens, if i still hear some kind of strange statements (not questions), well, it will be a sign to look out for a new table.

Damn, when you think better of it, some spot at the house of someone who's not doing that well in life, and have lots of kids, probably would give even more pleasure. Just ,,thinking out loud'' in words.
An idea for the future.

I am the person you describe. Especially in my younger years.

,,Welcome to the club.''
Was one myself & the power of change, is, fascinating.
Good for us More likely, lucky us, because when you imagine the potential outcome of life, if no change has taken place. That would be, just a wasted life.

Most of the time I say "I manage and invest our savings"... Sometimes, I have "It sounds risky" and my answer is always "Not having savings and investments sound risky to me".

The irony. That one is epic (big smile), i think, Howard Marks used that one few times in his lectures.

remember many times we get upset where "negative" is just practical.

Only you would know where you stand as far as your actual achievements and what this person is saying.

Exactly. One could easily become over-defensive, if, all that he has ever heard was a criticism. But it serves well at the same time, because - ,,Only the paranoid survives''.

And yes, knowing your own abilities , gives peace.
Now as writing, a memory came back, - with them, few times i caught myself, trying to ,,prove something'' in discussion, but then, stopping right there, and saying it aloud - ,,hey, im not trying to prove anything or to sell anything, i know what im doing & fine with that'' , that catches people off guard.

Proof they are jealous is every time they get around you and can they start lecturing you again on why it won’t work and how risky it is.

Must be painful as hell. The pain of - regret, and especially when one sees another individual starting at the same level or even lower, and witnesses him climb the ladders of success.
That is, toxicity at it's best.



Thanks everyone.
Will drop an update, next year, or after next 25-26.

 

[volpri]

I would go to the Christmas get together anticipating and looking for opportunities to deploy the new tactics. Kinda of like a game. Test them out. Get the book and study up fast before Christmas gets here. Ways to “smoke ‘em out and shut ‘em up” tactics. ROFLMAO.

Then also look for opportunities to game ‘em by agreeing with him and asking for more advice and more cut downs (E.g. tell me Xxxx what more do you see wrong with this? ..I REALLY need to know). He will become bewildered and not know how to respond at first and other family members will cut loose a smile or two with a supporting glance or two towards you. You can wink at them without him seeing it and the smiles will shine even more.

Don’t ever think you are the only one he does this too. I just about guarantee your sister gets it to from him.

He will leave Christmas with head spinning.

Go to the Christmas thing! Everyone will be relieved to see someone beat him at his own game.

Push the envelope a bit.

 

[murray t turtle]

uhhh actually as a native dallas human i can tell you for a FACT - dallas is a fcking ZOO, with far to many monkey's.

%%
LOL/animal patterns.
One TX teacher said he enjoyed his pet monkey but sold it /diaper change got old/apparently they never grow up/LOL
WE had pet guinea pigs as kids+ thats a major reason i dont want any ''free vaccine'' LOL..........................................................................................................

 

[Heydrrich]

,,hey, im not trying to prove anything or to sell anything, i know what im doing & fine with that'' , that catches people off guard.

Yep, why care about what he says, you are being you, go to your family and loved ones, in fact , see your family as much as possible, they will not be around forever.

if you go into that discussion with this person it means you value of what is being told

 

[Nobert]

I would go to the Christmas get together anticipating and looking for opportunities to deploy the new tactics. Kinda of like a game. Test them out. Get the book and study up fast before Christmas gets here. Ways to “smoke ‘em out and shut ‘em up” tactics. ROFLMAO.

Then also look for opportunities to game ‘em by agreeing with him and asking for more advice and more cut downs (E.g. tell me Xxxx what more do you see wrong with this? ..I REALLY need to know). He will become bewildered and not know how to respond at first and other family members will cut loose a smile or two with a supporting glance or two towards you. You can wink at them without him seeing it and the smiles will shine even more.

Don’t ever think you are the only one he does this too. I just about guarantee your sister gets it to from him.

He will leave Christmas with head spinning.

Go to the Christmas thing! Everyone will be relieved to see someone beat him at his own game.

Push the envelope a bit.

That's a cool idea.
Not for the gathering itself, but patiently, wait for a chance, to try out those new tactics for dealing with that. Ofc, having a good time, but keeping the guard on & watching out for ,,the questions/statements'' to show up. To my advantage ima 6 months alcohol free, so it will be way more easy to spot those unclear messages.

We gonna see where it goes.

in fact , see your family as much as possible, they will not be around forever.

Funny that you mentioned it, because one of the reasons, of being back at hometown, from the capital city, is basically, dedicating as much of time as possible towards helping the family.
(landing as much of responsibility as possible, just now as i write, realizing, that which is & was obvious before, provides with meaning in life, but, it's interesting, that managed to forget that. It's not the fact that you're with them, it's the fact that you're helping them, that makes one feel good. At least in my case, at the moment)

if you go into that discussion with this person it means you value of what is being told

Jocko Willing said it well in one of the speeches :
,,Don't get dragged into their games, because then you play by their rules''

 

[JSOP]

Hey.

When it's someone from your close family circle.

The husband, of my younger sister, is acting in a weird fashion, when ever it comes to finances & my journey. Dropping strange comments, that leaves you wondering/confused -
,,was that a joke or what ?''.

Between you and me, - he is narrow thinker, probably an average IQ person, for whom grasping the vision of the future - is something just - ,,impossible''
(no ego in that which i just wrote, it's just the way of reality at this moment, based on my sincere judgement)

Something like that happened this morning & it's like - i had enough (3'rd time). Blocked him on social media and at the Christmas table, - my seat will be empty this year.
(each comment is like a poison, that might stay with you, for a year or even a lifetime, so better just to avoid)

If it was some classmate back from 10 yrs ago, then the choice would have been way much quicker.


Questions :

how do you maneuver - when it's a close family member ?
A question especially for those who are well advanced in their success stories & life overall, - do you ever get back into relationships with those people ?
Did they admitted that they were ,,wrong'' or did you just choose to kinda ,,ignore it'' ?



Thank you.

First of all, I never talk about my personal finance. I feel that's my personal thing and it's really none of anybody's business. Whenever people ask me I just say "it's going fine" and that's it. I have been lucky of course in that all my close family circle has at least chose to respect my trading career.

But with your situation, I feel you should just confront him the next time he chooses to make an "interesting" remark. Ask him head on to explain himself what he means by what he said. Many times people do not realize the impact of what they are saying; they think they are being funny, being the "life of the party". If he is not, it would give both of you a chance to get it out in the open for you to deal with him and any other family members who might be thinking the same way as him once and for all. Be polite (don't curse), be firm, look him in the eye when talking to him and be rational. Let him know what he is doing is absolutely unacceptable and he needs to stop. If the rest of the family is fine and it's just him being the jerk, then you shouldn't be giving up the rest of the family for a loser jerk (who's probably having disturbing issues in his own life). You will just ignore him from now on if he doesn't change. If the rest of the family is thinking the same way and actually is on his side, then you are getting away from the whole family for the right reason but now at least everything is out in the open. And everybody now knows why you will never attend any of the family functions for a reason and it's their fault. You will have peace of mind forever.

Good luck! You can do this! We are all behind you.

 

[Turveyd]

I've got a Low IQ ex mate these days, he'd read beating the markets wasn't near possible and I wasn't intelligent enough ( IQ 136 ) , therefore I'm wrong despite making good money at times and he's right and there was/is no point talking about trading and that was the end of that.

Just laugh at him, or agree with him, he won't get it and who cares.