Need desperate help (Lost life savings)

RolloTape III said:
Why are so many of the advice pinning everything down to emotions and psychology?
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LOL. He lost big. Then went in even bigger and lost everything. All with an upcoming wedding.

Skills have nooothing to do with it. Who in their right mind would do that.

No one who I know, that was in their right mind.

Get his mind right, then get skills. Not the other way around.

Better yet still, just learn from it and move on.
 
[QUOTE="Get his mind right, then get skills. Not the other way around.
.[/QUOTE]

Absolute lols. imagine teaching a kid to play tennis but instead of teaching him how to ACTUALLY serve, you tell him to focus on his mind first, as if to will himself into the mechanics of a serve.. and ditto to just about any performance sport/skill. What a tool.
 
RolloTape III said:
[QUOTE="Get his mind right, then get skills. Not the other way around.
.
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Absolute lols. imagine teaching a kid to play tennis but instead of teaching him how to ACTUALLY serve, you tell him to focus on his mind first, as if to will himself into the mechanics of a serve.. and ditto to just about any performance sport/skill. What a tool.
[/QUOTE]

Yup what a facking tool, who would still imagine someone could serve a ball, say in HS Gym Class, who has already took out almost all of their classmates with errant smashes with the little ability they possessed without lessons.

Hey there's still some students not laying on the ground. Get the instructor ready to "teach" him the right way.

:rolleyes:

Best to stop digging, while you are still above ground level. And learn how to reply without botching/mangling the quote unquote part - which now bleeds over into my response.
 
Needdesperatehelp said:
Yea, I’d say thats a part of it, had dreams to make millions but now I’ve got to work on what you’ve said. Any recommendations?
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So sorry for your loss. It is a horrible feeling to say the least.

I suggest:
1. Stop trading (I assume you have already).
2. Tell your girlfriend--perhaps think about how to do this so she can trust that you recover/change for the future.
3. Get help. Reading a book is nice info but likely isn't enough.
4. Focus on rebuilding and how you can do that.
5. Find a way to forgive yourself and be open to the "lesson" that is being shown you. That might take time.

This happens to the best of us!! You aren't alone.
 
RolloTape III said:
Why are so many of the advice pinning everything down to emotions and psychology? Most likely the OP doesn't know what he's doing. First step is to stop and prove you DO know what you're doing before putting any more money in. Not to encourage him with inspirational anecdotal stories, cos guess what, that reeks of survivorship bias.. for every one remarkable story of how a star trader never gave up and made the turn, there's countless others who also never gave up but lost everything and more (you just don't hear/read about it).

Now for the positive notes. You ARE still very young and can bounce back from this experience. Success IS possible but you must acquire the proper skills. In the event of failure - which is ALSO POSSIBLE - you must have the self-honesty to quit.

The cold truth is that successful trading is beyond the reach of the VAST majority who try, just like in any performance field. Everyone is entitled to try, but they should know their quitting point before they do.
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Successful trading is beyond the reach of 90% of traders BECAUSE of psychology. The trading, charts, strategies, etc. is the easy part. Facing yourself and your inner demons (i.e. psychology) is the challenge, and one most traders seem to shy away from because it is UNCOMFORTABLE.
 
SunTrader said:
LOL. He lost big. Then went in even bigger and lost everything. All with an upcoming wedding.

Skills have nooothing to do with it. Who in their right mind would do that.

No one who I know, that was in their right mind.

Get his mind right, then get skills. Not the other way around.

Better yet still, just learn from it and moveon.
More...


Let me suggest an alternative. Totally making this up, but just to make a point. . .

What is there is part of him that has mixed feelings about the wedding? And his subconscious mind created this situation to ruin / delay / create question about the wedding?

Again, I am making this up, but it is an example of what our minds do to try and "help" us. That would actually make sense to me. If part of him wasn't sure about getting married and he sabotaged himself. Especially if he has traded for years and is just having this experience now. We as humans do this all the time.

So, maybe he was in his "right" mind. You can't really judge any of this unless you know the details of what is going on and none of us do.

I am sharing this as an example of what the subconscious does, and how it operates in our lives and our trading -- with our conscious mind having little to no awareness of it. The subconscious is way more powerful and wins out each time. So, part of working on your psychology is getting clear RE the subconscious. What it is saying and doing and how it is affecting us.
 
Needdesperatehelp said:
Yea thats the question.. I don’t know. I want to make sure I will NEVER do it again which will take some work.

I’m way more honest now than before last night. Gonna analyse every single emotion felt and why it happened.
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One thing to consider, is:
Go to paper,
Trade and get into the same situation.
Then deal with it properly.
Repeat.

That would constitute good trading on paper. The solution is not to run scared. Often people take a proper risk and take a hit, but then they compound it. You still need to take risk, just don't go on tilt.

Of course if your trading was way off course, you will find that out very quickly because you will get a lot of negative P/L. You need negative feedback in your strategy and tactics. Otherwise you can not optimize to reduce their frequency. The idea is to get into trades, and manage them well. The more trades you make that are well formed, and managed, over the long run it works out.

if you were just trading because it was exciting or going for the greed, then those are probably insufficient reasons to trade because they can lead to very bad habits without some counter balance.

Best of Luck.

PS: See you many people responded, which indicates a lot of people have experience with this type of danger.
 
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