My covid, parent dying, and getting back into trading (eventually).
- Thread starter jnbadger
- Start date
What is the benefit of being emotional?
It's a genuine question. Like, what is the benefit of being sad??
It's just a natural response to your environment/experience.
Time heals all wounds, but some(like losing your parents). You can't control the feelings but you can control your state of mind.
You can be sad and depressed(inevitable) or just speed up the process, cry it out and get it OVER with NOW.
Be happy for the time you've had with your parents. Also tell them you are grateful for everything they've done for you and others, the time you've spent together, tell them they will always remain and live in your heart and memories, you will remember them for the good person they always were, etc... Focus on the positives, make their end of days less miserable so that they can leave fulfilled and in peace.
It sucks seeing anyone(and especially close ones) in pain, but why would you dull on them leaving? Your supposed to create kids, raise them up. Then you die and they get to continue the cycle. Sounds harsh, but such is reality. It has no feelings towards you. (You have to reframe the situation as to easier accept the reality and be okay with it)
Do what you can, which is to up-keep the spirit and attitude in the dire situation. You can't change the shitty situation, but you can change the attitude towards it.
Return to trading when you are in a good state of mind.
It's a genuine question. Like, what is the benefit of being sad??
It's just a natural response to your environment/experience.
Time heals all wounds, but some(like losing your parents). You can't control the feelings but you can control your state of mind.
You can be sad and depressed(inevitable) or just speed up the process, cry it out and get it OVER with NOW.
Be happy for the time you've had with your parents. Also tell them you are grateful for everything they've done for you and others, the time you've spent together, tell them they will always remain and live in your heart and memories, you will remember them for the good person they always were, etc... Focus on the positives, make their end of days less miserable so that they can leave fulfilled and in peace.
It sucks seeing anyone(and especially close ones) in pain, but why would you dull on them leaving? Your supposed to create kids, raise them up. Then you die and they get to continue the cycle. Sounds harsh, but such is reality. It has no feelings towards you. (You have to reframe the situation as to easier accept the reality and be okay with it)
Do what you can, which is to up-keep the spirit and attitude in the dire situation. You can't change the shitty situation, but you can change the attitude towards it.
Return to trading when you are in a good state of mind.
We just have to move on and continue with life. It may be poor consolation but, our friends and family members who are sick, will no longer have to suffer any pain. In the after life, I am sure we will see them again.
No shame in taking a break BUT also no shame in keeping a light trading routine if it helps you to have a little continuity and to stay in touch with your normal life a bit.
Sorry to hear about your dad. My Mom passed away in 2007 and Dad in 2011. I was going between our house and theirs to help take care of things during those years and was fully aware what was coming at some point. I spent a lot of time with my dad the last year and that was good. At the same time I guess I didn't really accept what was coming. My dad passing kicked my ass, and I let it get to me. I didn't take any time off, and actually got back to trading full time which I hadn't been doing while I was taking care of him and hanging out with him.
I ended up going off the deep end. I should have taken some time to reflect and get my head together as it was hard to deal with at the time.
What is best for you is something you will find out, but taking time off for a bit and getting back to it when you have a chance to process and remember is probably a good plan. Most likely the rest of the year is more than you need especially since you love trading. Enjoy some family time and definitely talk about where your head and heart are at with your family, friends or both. You can let them do the same with you.
Peace and again, sorry to read about your dad. It seems like you should have a lot of great memories to help keep you going.
I ended up going off the deep end. I should have taken some time to reflect and get my head together as it was hard to deal with at the time.
What is best for you is something you will find out, but taking time off for a bit and getting back to it when you have a chance to process and remember is probably a good plan. Most likely the rest of the year is more than you need especially since you love trading. Enjoy some family time and definitely talk about where your head and heart are at with your family, friends or both. You can let them do the same with you.
Peace and again, sorry to read about your dad. It seems like you should have a lot of great memories to help keep you going.
I actually bought an SPX 3850 Put in my Ira this morning which expires today. Yep, one contract. I paid 15 cents for it. I might have to kiss that 15 bucks goodbye. But I just wanted to be involved in some way, no matter how small. But it will be some time before I get back to my specialty, which is looking for tight consolidations in stocks that are moving on unusually high volume. My mind just isn't ready for that.
Thank you for the kind words. And yeah, the rest of the year off seems like a bit much. I called my prop firm this morning and told them I'll definitely be taking August off, and I'll let them know about September. They've been great through all of this. It's not just numbers with them. They actually give a shit about what's going on. I talked to two people and the first words out of both of them were "Hey Jeff, how are you doing after covid, and how's your dad doing?"
Don't mean to hurt your feelings, but EVERYBODY has some of this kind of story... and it doesn't play well in public.... IMV.
Trading will be here 10 years from now. Maybe 100 years. Your Dad won’t. Drop it all and spend time with your Dad. Talk about life and times in the past. If he can’t talk then you talk touching his arm letting him know you are there. He will appreciate that. But don’t forget to also give him some time alone. He has to process what is happening.
Our daughter of 34 years of age died from cancer and suffered pain the whole time and excruciating pain nearer the end. We dropped everything to help our daughter and spend time with her. It was difficult for me to sit with her when she was in excruciating pain. I spent a lot of time making juices and other things she could eat a little of. I felt so helpless. As her Dad I wanted to help her and nothing I did helped.
Life goes on but there isn’t a day she is not on my mind. It has been 4 years this coming September. What is left is memories. She was a wonderful daughter and we all miss her smiling face. Spend time with your Dad. Right now that is what is important. At least that is how I see things.
By the way I got covid in Jan. The effects can last long after covid is whipped. I feel like I still don't have all my strength back. And we are in July.
Our daughter of 34 years of age died from cancer and suffered pain the whole time and excruciating pain nearer the end. We dropped everything to help our daughter and spend time with her. It was difficult for me to sit with her when she was in excruciating pain. I spent a lot of time making juices and other things she could eat a little of. I felt so helpless. As her Dad I wanted to help her and nothing I did helped.
Life goes on but there isn’t a day she is not on my mind. It has been 4 years this coming September. What is left is memories. She was a wonderful daughter and we all miss her smiling face. Spend time with your Dad. Right now that is what is important. At least that is how I see things.
By the way I got covid in Jan. The effects can last long after covid is whipped. I feel like I still don't have all my strength back. And we are in July.