Work on a real advantage. I recommend the books Jared Tendler: "The Mental Game of Poker 1" and "The Mental Game of Poker 2"
Avoid self-sabotage, if you don't want to be a trader, stop it.
Stop being childish.
On the 150K the total starting draw down is 4500. If you are down 1500 just stop for the day. This way you will have at least 3 days to go bust. Bad days happen to every trader. Good ones know when to walk away and fight another day.

You are correct in thinking the forum would help, but didn't. If you make a bad trade, you get slammed. If you make a good trade, nobody cares.This will be my last post.
I thought it would help me but after some hard thinking, it has not and has most likely impeded my progress in some ways that even I am not aware of subconsciously...
Anyway, good luck all!