Mudgins Mentors Lornz

Quote from researcher248:

I can see that you are not fully committed towards Mudgins' et al mentorship.

subpar you said?. I only shoot birdies and eagles.
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Do remember the Hunters' Creed: everything you shoot you have to eat. This in the context of squirrel shots.
 
Quote from TIKITRADER:

ooooh , ooooh I'm raising my hand... question !

Can I learn something too !
Pick me, Pick me
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If you must. But it may not be long before I pass out again today. Costco had a special on Mumm Napa Cuvee Brut. (Lornz, I forgot to disclose that I am a drunk. That is why famed pyschocyberneticist Dr. Doaks semi-automated my trading, so that my misfortunate malady would have no effect. As for my mentoring, alas, I have no happy remedial solution. But I write and code better drunk, so who knows.)
 
Quote from Brass:

Please keep it up. I could read this all day.
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As well you should. They're much better at it than you, maybe you'll learn something.
 
Quote from BSAM:

Brother Duref what instrument do you recommend for a new trader?
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A future whose underlying he can relate to or has a passion for. Over 100K contracts a day for decent liquidity and spread. Ideally less subject to manipulation than an individual stock. Enough morning or afternoon volatility to shoot for many ticks. ES. NQ. ZB. GC. 6E. CL. Not really knowledgable about what's out there.
 
Quote from Duref Mudgins:

My dear Lornz, it will be my great pleasure to assist you in any way possible to me to help you become a better trader. To invert the Zen saying, "When the Master is ready, the Pupil will appear." In all honesty, I may not be able to help, and you may not be able to improve. That said, permit me to suggest some ground rules. Pour commencer, I prefer to ask you questions which will help me to understand you personally and your trading situation. Never will I intentionally ask you anything which might identify you. This is called in the trade "identifying the presenting complaint." After that, you may feel free to ask me questions under the same groundrules.

Caveats: I am not a fantastic trader. I trade every day that my signals deign to appear, but I am not even remotely getting rich from it. Like 99% of ET, I have my absurd hopes. I do not have a gardener, a maid, a pool boy, a butler, a handyman, an IT person, a cook, a washerwoman, or an arborist. I am it. So my responses will depend on getting my chores done first. I am a little snot. I am snippy. If I were a woman you would call be a bitch. Feel free. I am also well edificated and was once an accomplished professional. In short, I am very like Jack but without the delusion of current and past grandeur. I am quite certifiably insane, and as needs be, you will meet the many other inmates on my ward. Of course I am not a shrink. I am an engineer by training and a mismanager by trade.

So, to begin, may I ask you to give me as much non-specific background on yourself and your trading as you care to? In the trade, this is called "putting the patient at ease by talking about himself."
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Before I begin, I must voice my concern about this thread being moved to “Chit Chat”. If this does not belong in the forum dedicated to psychology, I don’t know what does. Is it because a self-proclaimed God thinks that this belongs in the subequatorial psyche ward instead?

OK, back to the matter at hand:
I think all respectable doctors start with the vitals: I'm 5'4, and I weigh 240 lbs. I do not have access to an apparatus that can measure blood pressure, nor do I know my cholesterol level. However, I think I can feel my pulse beating, and I also do my very best to steadily consume high-fructose corn syrup to keep my blood glucose level constant.

Despite my obvious physical limitations, I was an avid athlete in high school, and I was invited to proudly represent my little country at the Sydney Olympics. I competed in pole vault, and also both triple and high jump. Alas, I finished just shy of a bronze medal in all three. It was especially admirable how I managed to finish 4th in triple jump with a severely sprained ankle.

My childhood, you ask?
Well, I was always a sad boy. A sad boy trapped in a happy bubble. I excelled at sports, schoolwork, and I was the second coolest guy in school. Despite all this, there was always something missing. There was an undefinable void in my life, which, no matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to fill. Trying to do so would lead me astray many times, ranging from illegal substances to excessive copulation, and I eventually succumbed to breezing through life. This worked well up to the point when my insanity caught up with me, and several dark years would follow. My brain seems to be in constant need of devouring new, or reexamining old, information. If not, it will begin devouring itself instead. I'm sure you can relate, as I can only begin to imagine the vast intellectual capacity it requires to remember the log-in details of all your brethren. It is with sadness I state that it took me far too long to realize that I become more relaxed by pursuing complex matters.

With my newfound wisdom, I decided to begin a degree in financial mathemootics last fall. But, as may be evident by my neologism, it was not as enjoyable as I had hoped. However, I did get a glimpse into the wonderful world of complex systems and abstract mathematics. Sadly, after a long period of cognitive decline, it reached a critical level and I have not been able to do much of anything the past 9 months. Not to worry, I recently found out that it's due to an intestinal malfunction, which prevents sufficient uptake of X. It is also quite possible that this has contributed to my ever-worsening psychotic behavior.

What is your professional opinion, Dr. Mudgins?

Quote from Duref Mudgins:

A disclaimer. If you have ever been to a mental health professional, you know that eventually you come to the realization "This greedy bastard is just letting me prattle on because he needs the money." Indeed I will let you prattle on. But not for the money. With the fond hope that you will help me more than I help you. The monumentally egocentric belief that millions of drooling fans worldwide will be hanging on my every witticism and shitticism plays no part in my zeal to give you trading therapy.
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Yes, I'm quite sure your fan club will rejoice over this thread. Finally, you will be able to unfold in all dimensions.
 
Quote from Brass:

Please keep it up. I could read this all day.
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I'm sad to see that you find my misfortune so enjoyable. Tell me, do you also seek out accident sites and point and laugh at the victims?
 
Quote from Duref Mudgins:

Lornz, I forgot. You get even less of my time. I am also the ship's purser, the vegetable gardener, the plumber, the electrician, the cat groomer, and the investment advisor. And anything else my working wife wants me to be. Now do you understand why I love Jackie so much? But no offense, my wife is much better looking. Probably because I am not as elderly as he is. And Lornz, if you need any retirement planning, I am also as good at that as I am at trading therapy.
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At least you have a wife! I have to do everything myself, even nag myself to death!

I also do not have as much time as I would like, and I must implore you to be a little patient. I meant to retire my online persona this weekend, but I couldn't pass up this marvelous opportunity to learn from the worst!
 
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