Money can't buy happiness

Quote from Mike805:

Thanks mxjones and poundtherock. I appreciate your constructive comments. This is the first time I've expressed those ideas to anyone - theres something to be said for this type of interaction. There are people on this forum who know me, but theres also a sense of anonymity. I've always felt like I'd be throwing my shit on someone else discussing these things, hence I just don't talk about it with others I'm close to.

I used to have a lot of fear but that has subsided as I've matured. Anxiety, guilt and shame are my most problematic emotions. I'll find things to feel guilty and shameful about, they usually mean nothing to "normal people" but my mind turns them into something (a interaction that I didn't give 100% to, a goal I didn't reach, a mistake I've made). I tend to be so self-critical it keeps me from sleeping at night.

Its only been recently that I've come to accept the fact that I need to focus my energies on healing this part of my mind. I tend to find ways to ignore these types of situations, I internalize my emotions and do not express myself very well. I've thought about counseling and unfortunately my ego keeps getting in the way. I've been so independent in my life, it is difficult for me to acknowledge the fact that another person can help me.

Again, thanks for your comments. They are very helpful - I've ordered the Ellis text.

Have a great holiday all.

Regards,

Mike
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You bet Mike. Best of luck to you.
 
Quote from mxjones:



One that I recommend that is very short and easy to get through is "The T.A.D. Principle" (thetadprinciple.com). I think it would be a great benefit to you, and help you down the right path. In a nutshell it is all about your mind and your thoughts - they can control you or you can control them.

Best of luck.
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That should be required reading for everyone, especially traders. Thanks!
 
Quote from Mike805:


Its only been recently that I've come to accept the fact that I need to focus my energies on healing this part of my mind. I tend to find ways to ignore these types of situations, I internalize my emotions and do not express myself very well. I've thought about counseling and unfortunately my ego keeps getting in the way. I've been so independent in my life, it is difficult for me to acknowledge the fact that another person can help me.
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Mike, that's exactly why your independence has gotten you so far -- because the person you should have been able to trust the most (your parent) abused that trust. Thus, how could you possibly trust any other person in a position of authority? You've done it all yourself, and you don't need anybody else.

This creates a vicious circle because the people who can help you the most are professionals in a position of authority, and as a result you delay getting the help you need. I speak from experience, my friend. Go do it now, and work hard throughout the entire process. Acknowledging the pain will give you great clarity and eventually happiness in realizing that it was not your fault, and this person no longer controls your happiness.

Oh, and don't worry about throwing your shit around. You deserve to throw your shit around. If you let people support you, they will. Keep us posted on your progress.

Regards,

PTR
 
Quote from Susukino:

Hedonistic (or hedonic) adaptation is an definitely an issue. In *this* context that boils down to the problem you face when you get more money and find new ways to use it, then get used to your new standard of living. The net result is that you are not really any happier than when you started.

I'm an equity analyst working in an Asian market and although I'm a long way from being a Big Swinging Dick, I'm doing OK. I've seen from my colleagues that it's easy to fall the habit of adding to your material possessions in such a way that you have to keep working flat out to pay for them.

You start making some money as a kid new to the financial industry and naturally you want to show it off, so you buy a BMW. Then you move to a bigger appartment. Then you buy a second house at the beach or in the mountains. Then you replace the BMW with a Ferrari and get another car for the wife. Then you buy a house in the US or Europe. It just goes on - and all these things cost money just to continue doing (try getting your Ferrari serviced). At what point do you say "I have enough"?

To my mind, "enough" is sufficient money to retire and live comfortably without having to work. I certainly spent a lot of money in unwise ways in the past (and why not, only young once) but I try to keep a lid on it now. I could buy an Italian supercar for cash tomorrow, but instead I have a little Toyota compact because driving a Lambo isn't important for me. What matters to me is getting to the point where I am no longer dependent on somebody else for my income; that's where all my efforts are focused.

There's plenty of debate about whether the hedonistic adaptation theory is correct or not. I think it's partially correct. A certain level of money makes things sooooo much easier. Not having to worry about being to pay not just for the basics but for holidays, toys, fancy clothes and so on takes a tremendous amount of pressure off. So in that sense the theory is wrong: a base level of money is really important.

But beyond that point - unless you can resist the pressure to keep up with your peers and piss money away trying to copy them - it will not help much. In that sense the theory is right and it applies as much in the suburbs of a US city as it does here in Tokyo, in my opinion.

Susukino
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Congratulations. If you can keep yourself going and do reasonably well, you win.

Own your posessions instead of them owning you.
 
Quote from mhashe:

If you're rich and unhappy, you need to get back on whatever medication you stopped taking.
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Imagine this: You're having mechanical difficulties with your car, which is unable to drive any faster than 20 MPH due to a broken transmission. You take the car in to a mechanic, explain the problem to him, and he <i>fixes</i> the problem by replacing your tires with new ones. Needless to say, the transmission problem hasn't been resolved at all, so you take your car back to the mechanic. Once again, he completely ignores the root of the problem (transmission), and instead he installs yet another different brand of tires.

You get fed up with the useless 'help' of this mechanic, so you try taking your car to other mechanics in your city- yet every single one of them is blindly fixated on tires. All they know how to do is replace your tires, which of course does not help you at all.

This is exactly how medical orthodoxy currently deals with depression. "The problem MUST originate with a deficiency of serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine (tires), it couldn't possibly be caused by something else, like an endogenous opioid deficiency (transmission). Therefore, all we will do for you, is prescribe one SSRI/SNRI after another (new tires) as we blindly and incorrectly fixate on the same old three neurotransmitters."

Then there's the <i>creative</i> mechanic who comes up with a <i>different</i> idea for fixing the car. Instead of replacing the tires, he patches up the old tires and fills them up with more air. This is the medical professional who suggests St. John's wort and 5-HTP, which can only boost... you guessed it- serotonin.

Watch TV for a couple hours and you'll probably see quite a few antidepressant commercials. The cruel joke is that <b>every single one</b> of those commercials is just pitching yet another serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitor product. "Zoloft didn't work? You're still dying of depression? Here, try some Paxil. It does the exact same thing as zoloft, but hey- give it a shot."

<b>Medical orthodoxy's current neurotransmitter fixation will go down in history as one of the science's greatest blunders of all time.</b> In the future, buprenorphine will be commonly accepted as a legitimate antidepressant. The only question is: How many more endogenous opioid deficient patients must die until then?

<b>www.Prohibition-Kills.com</b>
 
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