Mommy’s Little Bigot

[IMFTrader]

This child is living proof that the adage "with age comes wisdom" doesn't apply to women.

I wonder if the mom will be happy when her daughter comes home crying that she was raped by her black boyfriend and then kills herself due to being so traumatized.

Mommy’s Little Bigot
Posted Thursday, Feb. 7, 2013

By Emily Yoffe|

Dear Prudence,
My young daughter won't stop spouting racist comments. My 6-year-old daughter has beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. She gets compliments regularly from people on how pretty she is and basks in the attention. She attends a small private school and there is a little boy in her class who is black. He is sweet, well-mannered, and has a great sense of humor. His parents are lovely people. The problem is that over the last two years my daughter has been making comments about people's skin, particularly addressed to this little boy. These comments are along the lines of, "I don't want to sit by him because he has dark skin." Her teacher and I have sat down to discuss this with her and explain that this behavior is unacceptable to no avail. The other day she watched the beginning of Love Actually with me and she commented that the interracial couple shouldn't be getting married because they don't look right together. Obviously my method of teaching her to treat everyone equally and be accepting of all different people is not working. Her school is getting more concerned, although they know I am trying my best to combat it. Do I just hope she grows out of this, or is there something else I can do?

—At a Loss

Dear Loss,
What a win-win this is for an attention-loving child. Usually she can just show up, and like a quokka, know that there will be oohs and ahs at the pleasure of gazing upon her. But since her classmates and teachers are accustomed to her looks, she may find school less gratifying. Then one day she stumbles upon the realization that if she says something awful about the color of a classmate’s skin, a stunning amount of attention comes her way. Sure it’s of the negative kind. But if you enjoy being the focus of things, you take what you can get. I spoke to Molly McDonald, a licensed marriage and family therapist in West Hartford, Conn. She says once the original explanation that everyone deserves to be respected didn’t extinguish the behavior, the continuing focus on your daughter’s transgressions became a kind of fuel. McDonald says both you and the teacher need to redirect your own behavior in order to change your daughter’s. McDonald says to think of her comments as being equivalent to a tantrum and thus best ignored. For example, when your daughter said the couple in the movie didn’t belong together, you should have either said nothing, or replied nonchalantly, “Oh, I think they look nice,” then refuse to discuss it further. You should talk to the teacher about her doing her best to not respond to your daughter’s rude remarks in the moment. But later in the school day she should discuss generally that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness.

McDonald also suggests engaging in role-play at home with your daughter. You say you’re going to play a game in which you pretend to be some of the other kids in the class, and she’s going to show you how she acts when she’s playing nicely. Then, playing the black classmate, ask her to sit next to you. If she does, you give her a hug and tell her she’s being a good friend. You tell her how happy you’ll be if you hear from the teacher that when she’s in school she’s being a good friend there. If the teacher does tell you things have improved, give your daughter a reward, such as a small bauble, to reinforce the behavior. McDonald also says it might be worthwhile to check into whether your daughter is getting some of her noxious ideas from someone in her life, possibly a relative. I’ll add that since you have a daughter who likes the limelight, find productive ways to turn it on her. Praise the funny story she wrote or colorful drawing she made. Teach her to help you make dinner and tell her what a good cook she’s becoming. Let her see that what she accomplishes is more important than how she looks.

—Prudie

Source: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/...le_girl_might_be_racist_how_do_i_stop_it.html

 

[nutmeg]

Nice story.

I love to read about "hostage" situations. Yuppers. a six year old holds hostage a half a dozen adults with her behavior.

Now the therapist suggest role-playing.

"You say you’re going to play a game in which you pretend to be some of the other kids in the class, and she’s going to show you how she acts when she’s playing nicely. Then, playing the black classmate, ask her to sit next to you."

I"m going to suggest a variation of role-playing. It's called "I'm the fuckin parent and you're the kid." Here's how it goes down.

Sit down with your beautiful blond haired blue eyed daughter and tell her if she ever makes a derogatory comment towards the black kid you will shave her head in the middle of the night when she is sleeping. The end.

Obviously the psych's will say "You're giving up a 'teachable' moment" to interact with black people." I say bullshit, she knows it's wrong.

Secondly, if today it's the black kid tomorrow it's something else. Get it? If you remove the black kid, she'll seek attention from somewhere else, another kid that too fat, too short, too tall, whatever.

Anyways, this story is bullshit fiction. Prudence probably wrote it to generate readership. The story contains too many issues, all very neatly condensed with new age child rearing techniques. Fuck that, cut her hair off, she'll get the message in 30 seconds and we can get on with our lives instead of "talking" to 6 year olds as if they are "little adults".

 

[AAAintheBeltway]

I agree. This is obviously made up.

But if it isn't, Prudence is a moron. The most likely explanation for the child's attitude is that some blacks have been molesting her. Or perhaps, she has to endure their vile comments on the bus, etc. Obviously, no one at a school or in the media would ever entertain the thought that a minority (or a homo or muslim) would do something wrong or inappropriate.

My advice: question the child closely to try to uncover any hidden abuse, etc. If you are satisfied there is none, tell her there are some comments it is best to keep to yourself.

 

[VVV1234]

Quote from AAAintheBeltway:

I agree. This is obviously made up.

But if it isn't, Prudence is a moron. The most likely explanation for the child's attitude is that some blacks have been molesting her. Or perhaps, she has to endure their vile comments on the bus, etc. Obviously, no one at a school or in the media would ever entertain the thought that a minority (or a homo or muslim) would do something wrong or inappropriate.

My advice: question the child closely to try to uncover any hidden abuse, etc. If you are satisfied there is none, tell her there are some comments it is best to keep to yourself.

That's the dumbest explanation for this girl's behavior assuming the story isn't made up. She attends a small private school and most likely get driven there by her parents. If not, she probably has private van service.

Children who are subject to verbal abuse or sexual abuse evidence thier trauma differently.