Your cotton-topped wife nagging you to apply to Wally-Mart? Says she needs money for a blueing? That Unsociable Insecurity won't provide? That Muddycare won't cover? But you want to stay home and watch the soaps and suck suds and surf gerry porn? If so, MWR Trading is for you! Typical result attached from this AM. One minute of trading made as much as a short shift at Wally's! And left you plenty of time to pose an an expert trader on ET! Gerontologically geronteed!
Minimum-Wage Retiree Trading
- Thread starter David Hume
- Start date
As of this posting, 60 people looked at the thread, but only 27 opened the attachment. My opinion of the intelligence of ET just went up a notch. But mine may very well be the only blotter posted today.
Potential subscribers to my inadvisory disservice are encouraged to accept the posted blotter as "broker audited". Thus I can claim a Broker-Audited Return on Funding (BARF) of about 28% per annum based on my account size, the smallest IB allows. Just think what together we could accomplish using YOUR money! And unlike other funds which put your money to work continuously, I will only use it for one minute a day!
The MWR Trading system will be offered exclusively by Aged Affinity Associates. Membership will be by invitation only, and will be limited to the elderly, the desperate and the gullible. Your deposit with us must adequately reflect your gratitude at being accepted by us. PM me to get your restricted invitation.
Each subscriber will receive one of my lucky pennies. In my 64 years I have collected by last count 6432 of them, all found on the street, in hallways, or in the pockets of acquaintances and coworkers. I keep them all in a two-gallon pickled-pigs-feet glass jar. When I get the itch to trade, I reach in deep, pull one out, and flip it. That one tells me if it's heads long/tails short or vice versa for the next deep-drawn penny, which is the real decider. I am convinced that the three random uncorrelated processes result in reliable determinism. I repeat the process for exits. Unless, of course, my three tick stop or $100 profit target kicks in first. My friends say it's trade management, not the pennies, that's working. But I am only willing to give up 100 of those beauties, mostly the ones crusted with street gunk of questionable venue and composition.
What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously by ET? I posted a blotter. I explained the entry and exit methodologies. I withdraw my offer. Your loss, ET.
Thank you for your kind remarks, PMA. But ET finds no humor in trading. They keep trying to pretend that this is a serious site. Despite massively unintended humor in the majority of posts. So fuck 'em. They've lost me again. If I were you, I would seek professional help for your warped sense of humor.
PMA, I was serious in my offer. Suppose I offered to teach you a system that had 100% win rate, guaranteed $15.20 every time you took it, offered opportunities a few times a day, but wasn't scalable. Would you pay me for it? Most of ET would not, because it isn't tapping into the supposedly vast profuit potential of "pool extraction" grandly enough. There is an "aim for the fence" mentality here. I am merely parodying it.