Men, Women, Divorce, and Trading in 2012

[achilles28]

Quote from dandxg:


Jinxu- the real question you should be asking is how good has your intuition proved in the past? If it's good like mine is-then no marriage sorry. Want to test the waters. Tell her you just blew up your trading account and are now BK. Does she still want to marry you? Watch the initial look on her face that will tell you everything you need to know.

That's the answer, right there.

When I look for a wife, I will lie about my job and income. Buy a shitty car, tell her I'm a clerk somewhere, and rent a modest apartment. Then, if she stays, I can be sure it's real love. Not just dollar signs in her eyes. Even after, sign a prenup. There is no way some broad is gunna take me for 50%, when they played zero role in my success.

 

[achilles28]

Quote from themickey:

The crux of the matter is, what is most important to you, a wife or trading?
The two rarely mix.
I've spent over 20 years trading and designing systems, it would have been impossible for me to get where I am if I were married or had kids to look after. (my children are now adults)
The only way you could possibly get ahead in trading whilst married with kids is if she fully supported you, ie she was pro trading, was a trader herself, or had a deep interest in the subject and or understood what a trading life entails and encouraged you completely to the point she would work to support you financially were the going to get tough.
To be a trader means you need to be a bit selfish with your time whilst starting off, and this takes years.
Once you are consistently profitable, then you can possibly pay back, with more time on your hands and money to spend on her or others.
In my opinion, trading suits single people, for marrieds there is too much stress and energy involved as well as emotions for those trading at their keyboards. Trading fills my day and it fills my night, by day at the computer, by night in my thinking and planning.
With having a girlfriend, you can get away and have space, nigh on impossible in marriage, unless as mentioned, she was very much pro trading which would be a rare event.

Exactly right. That's why I will never marry without a prenup. For self-taught guys like me that never had the privilege of a wallstreet job to learn the ropes, the sweat equity i invested in my own "education" was made long before i put a ring on her finger.

 

[heech]

You guys crack me up.

Anyways... I've been married for 6 years, and we dated 5 years prior to that. We have 2 kids. I make 7 digits a year from trading, and she makes 6 digits a year as a physician. I didn't sign a prenup, although we did discuss it at the time (since I brought in a lot more assets than she did).

We are having a blast. Things aren't always perfect, but having a family is one of the best things to have ever happened to me. She's a great partner in life, and I can honestly say I look forward to the next 50 years of my life with her next to me.... Much rather that than being one of those 50 yr olds with a fake tan and a comb over trying to hit on the waitress.

 

[cdcaveman]

Quote from heech:

You guys crack me up.

Anyways... I've been married for 6 years, and we dated 5 years prior to that. We have 2 kids. I make 7 digits a year from trading, and she makes 6 digits a year as a physician. I didn't sign a prenup, although we did discuss it at the time (since I brought in a lot more assets than she did).

We are having a blast. Things aren't always perfect, but having a family is one of the best things to have ever happened to me. She's a great partner in life, and I can honestly say I look forward to the next 50 years of my life with her next to me.... Much rather that than being one of those 50 yr olds with a fake tan and a comb over trying to hit on the waitress.

Lucky you..... count your blessings... its hard to get an edge in trading and hard to find a good girl that is smart..

 

[achilles28]

Quote from themickey:

Listen up!
My wife pulled pin on me with no notice. Not a hint.
She had the hots for the church pastor.
Then after pulling pin, she allowed me 3 hours access every 2 weeks.
She turned the kids against me where i hadn't seen my son for 20 + years and I haven't still seen my daughter since the breakup.
My daughter is apparently is a drug adict from what my son tells me.
You've got to be a mug to go down this track.
Everyone screws you over, state, church, wife....
WTF would you do it?

How the phuck do you handle your daughter being a drug addict? Serious question...

 

[achilles28]

Quote from oldtime:

you may be right. I was mariied 31 years, and 25 of those were the most unhappy of my life. I tried everything I could do to save the marriage, and when she finally left I was devastated and had a complete mental breakdown. First thing I did was get a girlfriend and that was another 2 years of unhappiness. Now I am alone trading, I have two pets, red worms and a possumn, and I am almost ashamed to admit today I am happier than a pig in shit (which is what she always made me feel like.)

You and I got off on the wrong foot. I have a lot of respect for you now.

 

[cdcaveman]

Quote from achilles28:

How the phuck do you handle your daughter being a drug addict? Serious question...

my parents stayed togther are happy as hell.. and i'm a drug addict.. sober though quite a few years... i feel like because my parents were such good people it was easy for me to find getting on the right track again.. cause it was sort of innate in my up bringing .. but no one is perfect

 

[ammo]

Quote from jinxu:

Hey all,

We're deeply in love and she said she's completely okay with me staying at home trading for a living.

What are anyone's thought, tips, and advice on marriage? Am I looking ahead to good times or bad times?

tell her you want to put, i will never try to change you in the vows,if tha'ts a deal breaker,you dodged a huge bullet

 

[achilles28]

Quote from cdcaveman:

my parents stayed togther are happy as hell.. and i'm a drug addict.. sober though quite a few years... i feel like because my parents were such good people it was easy for me to find getting on the right track again.. cause it was sort of innate in my up bringing .. but no one is perfect

Good for you and congratulations. Addiction is common, these days. I used drugs in my teens and twenties to escape anxiety. Kicked the drugs and found a new addiction - work. At least it's productive. Escapism is a powerful thing. Going back to revisit old wounds and pain is difficult, and difficult to resolve. Maybe time heals everything? I'm 34, too, so I don't know. That's my sad story for this thread

 

[jinxu]

Quote from heech:

You guys crack me up.

Anyways... I've been married for 6 years, and we dated 5 years prior to that. We have 2 kids. I make 7 digits a year from trading, and she makes 6 digits a year as a physician. I didn't sign a prenup, although we did discuss it at the time (since I brought in a lot more assets than she did).

We are having a blast. Things aren't always perfect, but having a family is one of the best things to have ever happened to me. She's a great partner in life, and I can honestly say I look forward to the next 50 years of my life with her next to me.... Much rather that than being one of those 50 yr olds with a fake tan and a comb over trying to hit on the waitress.

yeah yeah. sure I know. Everyone's the exception to the statistics. LOL.