Men, Women, Divorce, and Trading in 2012

Should I get Married?

  • Yes

    Votes: 11 16.4%

  • No

    Votes: 56 83.6%
  • Total voters
    67
Dear Mr Jinxu,
Your posts have a negative undertone, and you are obviously unsure of yourself and your partner. Have you asked yourself <i>why</i> should you get married to this person now? Marriage should happen with the right person at the right time. Perhaps it's not the right person or not the right time.
 
My experience with women and trading is they don't mix. Security is No. 1 to a woman once she gets her hooks into you and begins the process of usurping. Be prepared for turmoil.
 
Quote from jinxu:

...Also, Wow I didn't think 100% were going to say no at this point. Idk I hear stories about how marriage changes people a few year in. I've seen old friends whose wife got fat and lazy. And I've read about nasty divorces. Realistically, what's the chance of finding a good wife nowadays?
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Marriage is a very risky market.
 
Quote from rtiger29:

Farmers?? Really? Wow, cops, i can see, but farmers though. lol. I learn something new everyday.
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less so today, but in the past, a farmers wife was a difficult lonely job and her support was vital to the farm.

I actually know a guy who never got a job and after college started trading full time and got married and has kids and he has been happily married now going on 30 years.

But he only trades stocks and options, and has always been extremely normal. He looks normal, he lives in a normal house and drives a normal car and all his friends are friends of his wife's and he does what she wants and goes on vacation where they go. He has always had an office in his house.
 
Prenupt I advocate..... and yes your right all the dumb things I've done in my life you could have never stopped me from doing



Quote from rtiger29:

Lets see if you will be saying the same thing once you get married. And i like a lot of what you said. But believe me, i used to think like you. There's a reason about 50% of all marriages end in divorce. i can only speak from a mans perspective, and i disagree with your comment
"if you keep her happy... and make it hard to leave you because your a fucking fun awesome great guy.. and she would be broke if she left you.. chances are she will stay..... but being a dick with a prenupt won't work.. and trading on hope without a stop loss or exit strategy has a huge risk of ruin"

Do you really think this is going to prevent his wife leaving him. Truth of the matter is, if she wants to leave, she will. You can be the best guy possible to her, if she has it in her mind, she is not happy, she will leave, only thinking the grass is greener on the other side. But yeah, if you treat her well, she will realize you were a good man to her and that the dating scene with men is really garbage. And she will come back. This is the same reason men cheat, for whatever reason, they could have a great awesome woman at home, but if a man decides he is going to cheat, he will, not because his wife is not great or loving, she could be the best wife to him, but we still stray at times. Not all men or women of course, but some. Can we all say "Prenupt", and yes, be that dick with a prenup, you wont regret it.
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The crux of the matter is, what is most important to you, a wife or trading?
The two rarely mix.
I've spent over 20 years trading and designing systems, it would have been impossible for me to get where I am if I were married or had kids to look after. (my children are now adults)
The only way you could possibly get ahead in trading whilst married with kids is if she fully supported you, ie she was pro trading, was a trader herself, or had a deep interest in the subject and or understood what a trading life entails and encouraged you completely to the point she would work to support you financially were the going to get tough.
To be a trader means you need to be a bit selfish with your time whilst starting off, and this takes years.
Once you are consistently profitable, then you can possibly pay back, with more time on your hands and money to spend on her or others.
In my opinion, trading suits single people, for marrieds there is too much stress and energy involved as well as emotions for those trading at their keyboards. Trading fills my day and it fills my night, by day at the computer, by night in my thinking and planning.
With having a girlfriend, you can get away and have space, nigh on impossible in marriage, unless as mentioned, she was very much pro trading which would be a rare event.
 
welcome to the ET bar. Ever notice when you go to a bar it is very rarely patronized by happily married couples. Ususally the bar is 90% men with women problems or broken hearts, and at the tables are women looking for a replacement.
 
Quote from themickey:

The crux of the matter is, what is most important to you, a wife or trading?
The two rarely mix.
I've spent over 20 years trading and designing systems, it would have been impossible for me to get where I am if I were married or had kids to look after. (my children are now adults)
The only way you could possibly get ahead in trading whilst married with kids is if she fully supported you, ie she was pro trading, was a trader herself, or had a deep interest in the subject and or understood what a trading life entails and encouraged you completely to the point she would work to support you financially were the going to get tough.
To be a trader means you need to be a bit selfish with your time whilst starting off, and this takes years.
Once you are consistently profitable, then you can possibly pay back, with more time on your hands and money to spend on her or others.
In my opinion, trading suits single people, for marrieds there is too much stress and energy involved as well as emotions for those trading at their keyboards. Trading fills my day and it fills my night, by day at the computer, by night in my thinking and planning.
With having a girlfriend, you can get away and have space, nigh on impossible in marriage, unless as mentioned, she was very much pro trading which would be a rare event.
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I started trading full time when my 3 kids were in grade school and didn't blow up until 2 of them were in college, no problem. I drove them to soccer practice, choir practice, ballet, never missed a softball game, saw plenty of school plays. I started as a broker and my wife never really knew I was an independent trader because I still put a suit and tie on each day and traded out of my old office.
 
Quote from guy990opl:


If you want to have kids and family no one is holding you back, but there is no need to criticize people who opt for young women, traveling around the word and a low stress life.
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If you want to make that choice, then make that choice.

But it is an abdication of responsibility by every measure that makes us human, plain and simple.

It is also extremely short sighted, as familial groups (tribes, if you like) are far stronger than individuals.
 
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