Quote from kut2k2:
Mistresses are competition for the wife.
Here are some "qualities" to look for in a mistress. If you can find a girl with all these qualities, then you'll think you're in heaven:
* She's drop dead gorgeous (if you want a mutt, then go to the local pound).
* She's not a virgin.
* She works somewhere called "Baby Cakes" or "Pussy Cat".
* She doesn't have 3 or 4 extremely large brothers that are professional boxers.
* She likes to knock back a few drinks (the more the merrier).
* She's not married (especially not to one of the boys).
* She's easily impressed by guys like you (pretend you have
* cash). She has fake boobs.
* She has low self-confidence.
* She needs reassurance.
* She doesn't have cash.
* She's outside your usual social circle; way outside.
* She will likely never run into your wife or kids.
* She doesn't smell like fish... or worse, garbage.
* She can suck a golf ball through a 20-foot garden hose (you'll find out indirectly).
* She doesn't know how to use the yellow pages or any other tracking device to locate your primary place of residence.
* She can't tell a $10 bottle of wine from a good (i.e. expensive) vintage kind.
* She understands the benefit of a good spanking.
* She likes meeting directly at a
* motel, hotel and/or the backseat of your Cadillac. She's well acquainted with the words thong, heels and garter belts.
* She has beautiful (and willing) female friends in case she can't make it or can't make it enough.
* She doesn't gossip.
http://www.askmen.com/money/mafioso/34b_mafia.html
