This was originally part of the other post, but I wasn't sure if to include it or not, so I originally deleted it.
If you love someone so much and trust her with all your heart, and for whatever reason you feel your relationship is slipping away ... boom! You are now blesses with a painful obsession.
There is a fine line between genius and loco.
There is a fine line between a healthy trusting relationship and a co-dependant obsessive relationship.
The paradox: As children, we are taught that:
1. One should always fight to get what he wants.
2. In the end, everyone gets exactly what he believes he deserves.
Put these two phrases together and you get fight for what you believe you deserve.
Unfortunately, no one teaches us the point at which we need to stop fighting - the point in which the end doesn't justify the fighting anymore. We have to learn it on our own.
Love is the greatest strength ~ why is that? I'd tell you why. When my LAX bound flight from Japan was diverted to Honolulu on 9/11 no one told us why we couldn't land on the mainland. My first thought, which stayed with me throughout the following six hours, was that the entire West Coast was under water. The reason was that the faces of the flight-attendants were broadcasting HORROR. By looking at their faces, we knew something horrible happened, and since we could not land anywhere on the West Coast, there was only one logical reason and that was a major earthquake from Seattle to Mexico.
fast-forward 24 hours and I was sitting on the bed in a room that was under-construction in a hotel that was a hard-hat area (was lucky to get a room) watching the Television set in disbelief.
I don't know if it was the fact that I have not slept in more than 48 hours or that I haven't seen my family in more than two weeks that brought such horrible thoughts to my head. But I couldn't stop thinking of what if I lost them that day. I finally broke down in tears and let it all out. And as these crazy thoughts were running in my head, I knew that I was the luckiest man alive. I realized something really incredible that day. I have been blessed to experience the greatest love for both my wife and my child. And I don't know how to say it, but I felt that if I lost them that I still was the luckiest man alive to have spent all the priceless moments with the two of them. As horrifying as these thoughts were the conclusion was somewhat comforting.
This helped me understand the victims who called their loved ones to say goodbye as they were facing death.
Now let's rewind to the day I met the woman of my dreams. I was 18 and she represented everything I wanted to be. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to have her. When I first saw her, I knew I had to have her. I asked my best friend who was standing next to me what he thought I should do, and all he said was "she is not the right one for you." What does he know, right? I went to speak to her and swept her off her feet.
Our relationship was based on friendship and lust, but was also comforting in the sense that we knew we had each other forever, and everyone knew that we will get married one day. It was great. 33 months go by, and she goes home (East Coast) for a few weeks following her graduation.
When she returned, she was a completely different person. She did a complete 180 on me. Oh man was I miserable. Now let's read the beginning of my post again "If you love someone so much and trust her with all your heart, and for whatever reason you feel your relationship is slipping away ... boom! You are now blesses with a painful obsession."
And painful it was. In hindsight, I refused to accept the growing-up changes she was going through. I wanted back the woman I loved. And that's what I was fighting for. We broke up but still saw each other on and off for the next two years. And then I finally said enough is enough we cannot waste time like this and cut it off for good. I did so because I realized the opportunity cost in being in a relationship like that was too high.
Nine months later I met the true woman of my dreams - the one I later married and had a child with.
note: It turns out that my best friend was right. He told me straight out that the other girl was not the right one for me before I even said one word to her. I shoulda listened to him, lol.
conclusion: There are some priceless gems of wisdom on this thread all you got to do is pick'em up. We all feel the pain in your writing. This is not cool. No one should go through such pain and come back for more...
