MacFutures Analyst

"His name was guv'nor
He was a trader
Four fingers in the air
Five offered everywhere
He bought the fucking lot
They looked like they'd been shot
And then there came the rate cut
And he....er....squeezed a spot

At the trade desk ( etc etc you get the drift )
 
Quote from military mum:

I know you gon' lose it, this new Snoop shit
Come on baby boo, you gotsta get into it (Oh-hooo!)
Don't fool wit the playa with the cool whip
Yeah-yeah, you know I'm always on that cool shit
Walk to it, do it how you do it
Have a glass, lemme put you in the mood and, (Oh-hooo!)
Lil' cutie lookin' like a student
Long hair, wit'cha big fat booty
Back in the days you was a girl I went to school wit
Had to tell your moms and sister to cool it (Oh-hooo!)
The girl wanna do it, I just might do it
Here to walk wit some pimp-pimp clue wit'
Mommy don't worry, I won't abuse it
Hurry up and finish so we can watch "Clueless" (Oh-hooo!)
I laugh at these niggas when they ask who do this
But everybody know who girl that you is

Was that sqwarked?? what did you do, buy or sell?? what newswire was it on?
 
Now here's a little story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That moves away the dust

Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
My old man don't earn much
In fact he's bloomin' skint

Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper 'nana
In his great big hob nailed boots
He's got such a job to pull 'em up
That he calls 'em daisy roots

Some folks give tips at christmas
And some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up
He spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty
And to the council wrote
Next time my old man went round there
He punched him up the throat

Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say I say Les
(Yeah)
I found a police dog in my dustbin
(How do you know it was a police dog)
He had a policeman with him

Though my old mans a dustman
He's got an 'art of gold
He got married recently
Though he's 86 years old
We said 'ere hang on dad
You're getting past your prime
He said well when you get my age
It 'elps to pass the time

Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say
My dustbin's full of lilies
(Well throw'em away then)
I can't lily's wearing 'em

Now one day whilst in a hurry
He missed a ladies bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards
When she chased after him
What game d'you think you're playing
She cried right from the 'art
You've missed me am I too late
Nah jump up on the cart

Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say
(Not you again)
My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools
(How d'you know it's full)
Cuz there's not mushroom inside

He found a tiger's head one day
Nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked quite miserable
But I suppose he should
Just then from out the window
A voice began to wail
He said Oy where's me tigers head
Four feet from his tail

Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It might me my old dad
 
#My old man's a dustman, he's got cancer too
Silly fucking arsehole, he's got it up the flue
He's got so much of fucking cancer it drives him fucking mad
He says, "I've got fucking cancer", and he's my fucking Dad
Oh, what a fucking boring cunt, he goes on and on all day
He's got this fucking cancer and he's too gone on the way
 
#My Mum came into the room and sucked my fucking knob, oh!
She put her mouth right, her mouth right round it and then she done a gob
On the end of it to make it smooth and make it nice and soft
And then she tossed me right off with her, er, Mrs. Mopp
Who came into the ..... (starts laughing)
 
Quote from TsunTzu:

Was that sqwarked?? what did you do, buy or sell?? what newswire was it on?


squawk

• verb 1 (of a bird) make a loud, harsh noise. 2 say something in a loud, discordant tone.

• noun an act of squawking.

— DERIVATIVES squawker noun.

You want to play with the big boys Tsunny - get your spelling in order.

We're bloody hard bastards
 
..... What a cunt! He keeps waking us up at night, this fucking noise goes on! This fucking cough, his fucking cancer! We can't fucking sleep! I's trying to watch Emmerdale Farm and this fucking cough came on and I couldn't fucking concentrate on a fucking good programme 'cause my old man was dying of this fucking cough .....
 
Quote from whodareswins:

squawk

• verb 1 (of a bird) make a loud, harsh noise. 2 say something in a loud, discordant tone.

• noun an act of squawking.

— DERIVATIVES squawker noun.

You want to play with the big boys Tsunny - get your spelling in order.

We're bloody hard bastards

good point but you didnt pick this up;

mac analsyt <------?????
#My Mum came into the room and sucked my fucking knob, oh
 
Is it possible to post something remotely serious on here please?

What is the Ted Spread ?

Not directed at you nomate - obviously never been near a future in your life.
 
Quote from Lord Edward S:

Is it possible to post something remotely serious on here please?

What is the Ted Spread ?

Not directed at you nomate - obviously never been near a future in your life.


Ted is the bloke that spreads your mums legs
 
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