Why waste your money on that kind of wussie crap?
My idea for an Iraq movie. The Rock plays Col. Colt Trigger, a hard-case Special Forces officer with a penchant for hot blondes and machine guns. After an amusing intro scene with the Rock's supermodel GF, his unit is sent to Iraq and enters the battle of Falluja. They immediately come under fire from insurgents holed up in a house. The Rock grabs two machine guns, one under each massive arm and rushes the building, killing dozens of insurgents, before confronting the leader, who bears a striking resemblance to the Iron Sheik. Out of ammo, he grapples with the evil terrorist, then suddenly unleashes his trademark move, the Rock Bottom, and sinks his bayonet into the dazed terrorist's chest. [Every guy in the movie theater is on his feet cheering at this point, as their GF's sink into their seats in horror.]
The Rock is brought up on absurd charges of using excessive force and is forced to defend himself in front of an attractive blonde Jag officer, who exonerates him and later sneaks into his tent and begs to have his baby.
Later the Rock's unit is sent on a suicide rescue mission to retrieve a liberal female journalist who stupidly allowed herself to be captured by al qaeda terrorists after accepting their invitation to film them executing american POWs. The Rock and his brave men rout the terrorists and free grateful American and British POWs, but the terrorist leader, who bears a disturbing resemblance to Vince McMahon, speeds away in a mercedes with the journalist. The Rock jumps onto a motorcycle and gives chase and after a hair-raising race through bombed out urban slums, is able to pull beside the al qaeda leader and give him the People's Elbow through the window, causing him to wreck. The Rock is then confronted with a terrible dilemma. The al qaeda leader has managed to grab the beautiful journalist and has a knife to her throat and his other hand on a detonator for the bomb vest he is wearing. "Give me your gun and surrender or I will blow us up. Allah akhbar", he commands. The Rock sneers at him, trains his .45 at him with a steady hand and replies "That would be a first. You and your extremist groups have corrupted your religion and convinced your followers to blow themselves up and kill innocent people. But blow yourself up? I don't think so. " The terrorist immediately surrenders, drops his knife and detonator and falls to his knees pleading, "Please don't hurt me, I am entitled to the protections of the Geneva Convention, I request legal counsel, I am entitled to diplomatic immunity..."
The Rock's unit pulls up at that point and takes him into custody, none too gently, and the journalist slumps against the Rock, her Clamanesque breasts pushing against the flimsy fabric of her dress and murmurs, " I was so wrong about everything, how can I ever repay you?" The Rock glances at his First Sergeant, a towering giant of black muscle who bears an uncanny resemblance to Booker T and arches his eyebrow in his signature pose. As the camera pulls away, the soundtrack blasts "Fighting" by Pharaoh.
http://sonific.com/browse/result?id=36
Every guy goes home from the movie theater happy, and every woman resolves never to let her BF select the movie again.
