Let's talk about loneliness

[Mazedonia]

Thank God ;-)

It is to be my New Year Resolution that I do not do it in serious trade-related threads.

 

[Overnight]

Thank God ;-)

Well, this is not a serious trade-related thread, so nyeh!

 

[Handle123]

I play this game exclusively and have no other sources of income. I am actually quite good at it in the sense that my take home monthlies are way more than what I do and can spend.

My wife is my best friend and our world turns around our 3 young kids. We do not care for boats, ferraris or jewellery but splash out on holidays.

Now I am lonely. I find this job that pays me so well dull as hell. Joined a tennis and golf club but still bored. I keep myself somehow busy and usually fall behind deadlines but still feel bored.

Any tips for 2022?

First 35 years I was ok with being alone, but then the game has become same patterns, generally same stats, my desires to keep working on new stuff has faded. I have become rather numb to something I once loved. Got engaged and have traveled often had not changed my desires to return to trading.

I think when one has achieved goals set, might be good to revisit past hobbies you didn't have time. I go to gun range twice a week, am way off where I was ten years ago, but at least been looking at charts.

 

[tonyf]

Perhaps start to form or join a chat room of like minded guys with a similar level of discipline and rigor. How to find those? That's the hard part I guess and has been elusive to me as well, I am also on the lookout.

Let's keep that line of thought going. It is good to see that an approach of this kind is attractive to some.

 

[tonyf]

Tony, how far is the nearest town from you? Because it all sounds very familiar.

7 years back I traded from home for 6 months. Went up the walls with boredom. Looked at prop shops but really didn't fancy terms so opted for shared office space ever since. While the first ones I tried were a bit dry, I'm now in one where we're like a tight-knit family. Everyone helps each other out, in work and out of work. Everyone's occupation is different (so office talk is mercifully free of trading), and it's honestly made the world of difference, especially during the covid shit-show. Worth a punt if there's one nearby anyway.

London is within few hours by train. I have tried serviced offices near me and the vibe was simply not there.

 

[tonyf]

Does this resonate?

View attachment 274668

Maybe, but psychoanalysis is a a tricky thing and not the lowest hanging fruit. You can hypothesise that my sex-free teenage years are to blame perhaps, when I was more interested in books and comics than other kids. But all this is meaningless today. We are who we are and 1% incremental changes are our best bet(s).

 

[tonyf]

Come on... is there no one else to tell him the right advice ... take it easy, but do get away with an affair this year!

ha!
Went out on a "date" with the wife last evening and we discussed this thread. We agreed to go away for the full month of august on a road trip. Something we had never done before. Something to look forward to and work towards.

 

[tonyf]

Just that - stupid? Maybe for you, it's not for everybody that's for sure. I can sense this boredom will be healed with emotions stir up. It's like when you know a trade will work out, just take it!

maybe you are right - perhaps the adrenaline rush of not getting caught is where most of the excitement is.
But surely a temporary fix at best with a highly asymmetric risk/reward.

 

[tonyf]

I am also not sure if what he is (was?) doing qualifies as “arbitrage” As far as loneliness with three young kids - I don’t get it. When my kids were young, I had no time with all the activities(also met lots of people while waiting for classes to end).
@tonyf, feel free to ignore this question, but do you trade because you need to (means to live) or just to keep yourself busy? In other words, can you afford to stop trading?

My capital is about 45x my annual expenditure. You can crunch the numbers and reach any answer you want as I am not 100% how to answer with honesty.

p.s. I may be confusing loneliness with boredom. Perhaps the latter is a better descriptive word.

p.s. 2) what I do is arb. butt not in the delta neutrality statistical sense. I just connect the dots from SEC fillings when I see them, but am still exposed to cognitive biases of course.

 

[ElCubano]

Alone does not equate to loneliness. But, if you DO feel lonely, you're not going to resolve the issue by remaining isolated. And personally, I can (hypothetically/theoretically) feel lonely in a room full of people that are NOT close to me, but I'm never lonely in a room full of people with whom I feel close (unless you're talking about being close physically as opposed to emotionally—but I don't see much point to writing any more of these responses, so this is my final visit to this thread).

Loneliness is a state of mind. You could be surrounded by 1 million loved ones and still feel lonely; it doesn't matter How you in particular feel. Not everyone is you. He states he has a wife and 3 kids. Creating, having purpose and seeing your creations grow can certainly help that state of mind which in most cases is really something stemming from depression. I totally understand what you are saying by the way. I'm not a phycologist nor do I play one on tv.

Good luck @tonyf . I hope whatever you do helps you on your journey.