Obama's Speech: Ali G Style
by Tyler Durden
Mr. speaka, mr. vice president, members hof congress, an' fellow americans: tonight we meet hat an urgent bells fe our turf. we continue to face an economic crisis dat has westside side millions hof our neighbors jobless, an' da political crisis dat has made tings worse. this past week, reporters as bin askin âwhat iz gonna dis speech mean fe da president? wot iz gonna hit mean fe congress? how iz gonna hit affect dare polls, an' da next elecshun?â but da millions hof americans who iz watchin east side now: dey donât care about politics. dey as real life concerns. many as spent momphs lookin fe wurk. others iz doin dare fittest just to scrape by â givin up nights hout wiv da posse to save on gas or make da mortgage; postponin retirement to send da kid to scool. these bruvers an' bitches grew up wiv faith in an america where ard wurk an' responsibility paid off. dey believed in da turf where everyone gets da fair shake an' does dare fair share â where if yous stepped up, did ya job, an' wuz loyal to ya possie, dat loyalty iz gona be rewarded wiv da decent salary an' heavy benefits; maybe da raise once in awhile. if yous did da east side tin, yous could make hit in america. but fe decades now, americans as watched dat compact erode. dey as seun da dek too oftun stacked against dem. an' dey nah dat washington hasnât always put dare interests first. the peeps hof dis turf wurk ard to meet dare responsibilities. da quesshun tonight iz whetha weâll meet ours. da quesshun iz whetha, in da face hof an ongoin national crisis, we can stop da political circus an' hactually do sumfink to help da economy;