Welcome To AMERICAN IDOL !!!!!
(American Idol Music ...)
Ryan Seacrest: Okay ... Our next performer will be Larry Kudlow ... and his bear ...
Simon Cowell: Larry, explain what you are about to do, please.
Larry Kudlow: As you know, Simon, I have been what is known as a "permabull." With my performance today, I will give in to the bear ...
Simon Cowell: So the bear will ass fuck you ...
Larry K: That's right.
Simon Cowell: Okay. Let's see.
(Three and a half minutes of awful screaming and crying)
Simon Cowell: Randy?
Randy: Yo, yo, yo, dude !!! ... Larry, yo, I have been critical of your past performances because I thought you were very FAKE and very predictable, if I'm gonna keep it real, dawg.
But That Was Incredible !!! Your best performance ever. Powerful and HONEST !!!
Larry K: (Sobbing) Thanks, Randy.
Simon Cowell: Paula?
Paula: Oh my, that bear was SO CUTE !!! And so PASSIONATE !
And your painful wailing was cute, too - Larry ...
Larry K: (Sobbing) Thank you, Paula.
Simon Cowell: (Long pause) Larry ... that was (long pause) ... that was absolutey the best performance I have EVER SEEN on American Idol, Larry.
Absolutely Brillant !!! Well done.
Larry K: (Sobbing) Thank you, Simon.
Simon Cowell: Is your bear called Bear Stearns ???
Larry K: No, his name is actually William Hung. You don't recognize him because he has been taking a lot of steriods ...
Simon Cowell: ... Brilliant !!! ... Absolutely Brilliant !!!
