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Quote from Yannis:

Strange Phonecall

I was debating whether I should post this here or in one of the the Systems-Trading-Related Forums, but at the end (yes, it was a long, 3-second agonizing process) I decided that it is more funny than informative...

The phone just rang and a polite young man on the line asked for me, and then said a few niceties, mentioning that he knew that I had "some interest in trading or investments". Then:

"I am not a broker, although I am calling from a brokerage firm."

"OK."

"We have a great trading system here, and we are certain you will like it."

"OK."

"It's an automated or manual trading system that is very profitable."

"OK."

"Do you know anything about trading?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you trade for a living?"

"Yes, I do."

"Have you been trading for several years?"

"Yes, I have."

"So, you know about trading..."

"Yes, I do."

"I see... Well, have a nice day, Sir!"

"You too."

:) :) :)


(What in the world was that all about?)
More...


telephone scam artist, trying to con people imho. Soon as he heard you knew something about trading decided to look elsewhere!!!!!!!!!
 
A wife, in bed with her lover, heard her husband's key in the lock.

"Just stay where you are," she instructed, "he's always so drunk he won't even notice you."

Sure enough, the husband fell into bed none the wiser, but when he looked down and through his drunken haze saw six feet at the other end, he said, "What's going on here? There are six feet in this bed!"

"Nonsense," said the wife, calmly. "You're so drunk you can't count. Get out of bed and try again from over there."

So her husband staggered from the bed, walked to the foot of it and counted out loud, "One, two, three, four… damn it. You're right!"




:p :D :eek: :confused:
 
If that guy on the other end of the phone really knew anything about trading, his next question after "How long have you been trading?" . . . "(Response) Many years". . . would be "And are you profitable yet" :D
 
When you have an "I hate My Job" day, try this.

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove
the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that
it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in
small print there is a statemen t, "Every Rectal Thermometer made by
Johnson & Johnson is personally tested".

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do
not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE **** THAN YOURS.
 
An old-time southern, hell fire & brimstone country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some
Thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

- a Bible,

- a silver dollar,

- a bottle of whisky and

- a Playboy magazine

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object
he picks up".

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good, low down drunkard, and, Lord, help me.... What a shame that would be.

And worst of all..... If he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin', no good bum."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He
Uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a Congressman!"
 
Quote from Tech Analysis:

If that guy on the other end of the phone really knew anything about trading, his next question after "How long have you been trading?" . . . "(Response) Many years". . . would be "And are you profitable yet" :D
More...
Good point. Truth is, after all these years, and despite my profitable trading system, I haven't managed to make a dime for myself from this business.

Not that I lose money either, but...

Let me explain - I am sure that those of you who have been married to your beloved old sweetheart and girl of your dreams for many years, like me, can understand and sympathize with the situation: Every weekday, at about 4:05pm, my beautiful, kind and very understanding wife logs onto our (joint) account at IB, and writes down everything, to the last penny. And, that's the end of it, until the next morning, when I again have some control over financial matters. It's like the ancient Greek myth of Sisiphus, right?

:) :) :)
 
Let Him Earn...

A pickpocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd …"

:) :) :)
 
Life Is A Circus

In a circus stunt, a lady and a lion were kissing each other inside a cage. The ring master proudly challenged the audience: "Isn't that great? Can anyone else do it?"

A guy from the back row slowly answered "I can, no problem, but first take the stupid lion out!"

:) :) :)
 
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops
of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise
to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like
to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of
water."

"Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her
left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two
drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says,
"Ma'am,
I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to
hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."


:D
 
Got 2:

Two Technical Analysts were walking across Wall Street when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second TA replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first TA nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


The Fundamental Trader asks, "What is the Fair Value?"
The Technical Trader asks, "Where is the Fair Value?"
The Philosophical Trader asks, "What is the meaning of Value?"
The Options Trader asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
 
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