That was funny.
Jokes
- Thread starter dgabriel
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That was funny.
Subject: Bush
Before his 2001 inauguration, George Bush was
invited to a "get acquainted" tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked
Bill Clinton if he might use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton 's personal bathroom, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about
the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "When I am President, I could
have a gold urinal too. But I wouldn't do something
that self-indulgent!"
Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour
of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed
George had been when he discovered that, in the
President's private bathroom, the President had a gold
urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting
ready for bed, Hillary smiled and said to Bill,
"I found out who pissed in your saxophone"
Before his 2001 inauguration, George Bush was
invited to a "get acquainted" tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked
Bill Clinton if he might use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton 's personal bathroom, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about
the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "When I am President, I could
have a gold urinal too. But I wouldn't do something
that self-indulgent!"
Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour
of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed
George had been when he discovered that, in the
President's private bathroom, the President had a gold
urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting
ready for bed, Hillary smiled and said to Bill,
"I found out who pissed in your saxophone"
Top 12 country songs for 2006
12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine.
11. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass All Day.
10. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well.
8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
7. I wouldn't take her to a Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid she'd win.
6. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
5. I'm So Miserable without you, It's like you're Still Here.
4. If I Had Shot You When I First wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By now.
3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him.
2. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger.
And the number 1 Country Song is:
1. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed with Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With a Few
12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine.
11. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass All Day.
10. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well.
8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
7. I wouldn't take her to a Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid she'd win.
6. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
5. I'm So Miserable without you, It's like you're Still Here.
4. If I Had Shot You When I First wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By now.
3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him.
2. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger.
And the number 1 Country Song is:
1. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed with Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With a Few
Effective Communication Tips
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.
Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He's Dead.
Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you have thought of a nicer way to tell me?! I'm leaving in 3 days to get back there. You could have broken me to the news easier. You could have told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left you could have told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the airport you could have told me, The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground. That's how good people communicate with each other!
Brother 2: I'm sorry...you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.
Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?
Brother 2: Well, the truth is that she first got out of the house... and then we found her... but now she's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down...
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.
Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He's Dead.
Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you have thought of a nicer way to tell me?! I'm leaving in 3 days to get back there. You could have broken me to the news easier. You could have told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left you could have told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the airport you could have told me, The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground. That's how good people communicate with each other!
Brother 2: I'm sorry...you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.
Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?
Brother 2: Well, the truth is that she first got out of the house... and then we found her... but now she's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down...
Strange Phonecall
I was debating whether I should post this here or in one of the the Systems-Trading-Related Forums, but at the end (yes, it was a long, 3-second agonizing process) I decided that it is more funny than informative...
The phone just rang and a polite young man on the line asked for me, and then said a few niceties, mentioning that he knew that I had "some interest in trading or investments". Then:
"I am not a broker, although I am calling from a brokerage firm."
"OK."
"We have a great trading system here, and we are certain you will like it."
"OK."
"It's an automated or manual trading system that is very profitable."
"OK."
"Do you know anything about trading?"
"Yes, I do."
"Do you trade for a living?"
"Yes, I do."
"Have you been trading for several years?"
"Yes, I have."
"So, you know about trading..."
"Yes, I do."
"I see... Well, have a nice day, Sir!"
"You too."
(What in the world was that all about?)
I was debating whether I should post this here or in one of the the Systems-Trading-Related Forums, but at the end (yes, it was a long, 3-second agonizing process) I decided that it is more funny than informative...
The phone just rang and a polite young man on the line asked for me, and then said a few niceties, mentioning that he knew that I had "some interest in trading or investments". Then:
"I am not a broker, although I am calling from a brokerage firm."
"OK."
"We have a great trading system here, and we are certain you will like it."
"OK."
"It's an automated or manual trading system that is very profitable."
"OK."
"Do you know anything about trading?"
"Yes, I do."
"Do you trade for a living?"
"Yes, I do."
"Have you been trading for several years?"
"Yes, I have."
"So, you know about trading..."
"Yes, I do."
"I see... Well, have a nice day, Sir!"
"You too."
(What in the world was that all about?)
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