What do you call a Redhead between two blonde's?
An interpreter...
Jokes
- Thread starter dgabriel
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What do you call a Redhead between two blonde's?
An interpreter...
A few Groaners for your review. . . .
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup?
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup?
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
White House Update
Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told President Bush that three Brazilian solders were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all the color drained from Mr. Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken and almost in tears.
Finally, he composed himself and asked the Secretary of Defense. "Just exactly how many is a brazilian?"
Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told President Bush that three Brazilian solders were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all the color drained from Mr. Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken and almost in tears.
Finally, he composed himself and asked the Secretary of Defense. "Just exactly how many is a brazilian?"
Business In Iraq
A fleeing al Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the Iraqi desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling neckties. The guerilla asked, "Do you have water?"
The old man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $2."
The guerrila shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."
"OK," said the old man, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Go with Allah. Peace!!"
Muttering, the guerrila staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse. "Your &&%%$$## brother won't let me in without a tie!!!"
A fleeing al Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the Iraqi desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling neckties. The guerilla asked, "Do you have water?"
The old man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $2."
The guerrila shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."
"OK," said the old man, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Go with Allah. Peace!!"
Muttering, the guerrila staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse. "Your &&%%$$## brother won't let me in without a tie!!!"
Catholic Humour:
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to Go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?"
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the "Sahara Pipeline" that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to Go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?"
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the "Sahara Pipeline" that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
Corporate Life #32
Sign on company bulletin board:
âThis firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down their boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck!â
Sign on company bulletin board:
âThis firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down their boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck!â
Quote from kbeck:
k
That maybe an urban myth... an doctored photo.
So you say you want a job in the main office?
Pass this test and it might be yours!
Professionalism Test
Read this out loud:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word only, in each
line from the start.
k
Pass this test and it might be yours!
Professionalism Test
Read this out loud:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word only, in each
line from the start.
k
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