Jokes

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Optional777 and four friends end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island.

After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Optional777 stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!"

So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and one puts the bag over the gorilla's head.

He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty. The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Optional's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Optional's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder.

Optional 777 yells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!!

They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you."


Optional says..."No, I mean the bag.....I want to kiss the bitch!"
 
Hey Babak,

Wouldn't it be more funny if it read:

Optional777 and four friends end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island.

After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Optional777 stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!"

So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and one puts the bag over the gorilla's head.

He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty.

After he finishes, his friends take his sloppy seconds, thirds, etc.

This becomes somewhat of a habit until one day the gorilla dies.

A month passes and the five of them get so horney that they start to do the nasty with the dead gorilla. So ashamed of themselves they bury the gorilla and vow never to talk about it what they did.

More time passes and the sexual urges turn out to be too much for each in the group and they start to sodomize each other.

One day they look at each other in disbelief of what they are now doing and dig the gorilla back up.


;)
 
Little Melissa comes home from first grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas. "Since Christmas is a Christian holiday & we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Christmas card to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Christmas card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, & maybe start loving people a little bit. If other kids saw what I did & sent Christmas cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them & how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."


"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can blow the shit out of him."

:D :D
 
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A. A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.
 
Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey & soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice. I'll have the same thing he's having."
 
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